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updating daily-Day 10, my son, in 1st detox, ?'s
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<blockquote data-quote="Anna1345" data-source="post: 109195" data-attributes="member: 4292"><p>Before reading any replies.... </p><p></p><p>My instinct is that when making decisions about what to do re: your difficult child, you need to stop letting your heart and emotions make the decisions. You said he will miss his daughter's first Christmas, well, that is okay. She won't realize it. Better miss the first to get well than miss all the rest because he is high on drugs. You are right he is an addict and he is in denial. Just the fact that he said "I'm not doing that much stuff, blah blah" means that he can't differentiate that ANY is too much. He needs to be clean and sober for his child. </p><p></p><p>Right now, your first concern should be the baby. Good for you for developing a relationship with the mom! It will be SO important for you to have a relationship with her and the baby. I am so glad you have done that! I think it is perfectly fine that you are buying formula and such. I am a firm believer that it takes a village to raise a child.</p><p></p><p>In my opinion, you need to be firm with difficult child. Let him know that you love him no matter what but will only support him in his recovery of his drug addiction and nothing else. You will go through fire for him --- IF he is helping himself to get better. You will NOT help him get out early, but you WOULD help him stay longer. </p><p></p><p>I know it is hard with the holidays right around the corner but you have to do what is in his best interest. It is not our job to be a friend. It is not our job to even be liked. It is our job to do what is best for our children. Be strong! You can do this! Hang in there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Anna1345, post: 109195, member: 4292"] Before reading any replies.... My instinct is that when making decisions about what to do re: your difficult child, you need to stop letting your heart and emotions make the decisions. You said he will miss his daughter's first Christmas, well, that is okay. She won't realize it. Better miss the first to get well than miss all the rest because he is high on drugs. You are right he is an addict and he is in denial. Just the fact that he said "I'm not doing that much stuff, blah blah" means that he can't differentiate that ANY is too much. He needs to be clean and sober for his child. Right now, your first concern should be the baby. Good for you for developing a relationship with the mom! It will be SO important for you to have a relationship with her and the baby. I am so glad you have done that! I think it is perfectly fine that you are buying formula and such. I am a firm believer that it takes a village to raise a child. In my opinion, you need to be firm with difficult child. Let him know that you love him no matter what but will only support him in his recovery of his drug addiction and nothing else. You will go through fire for him --- IF he is helping himself to get better. You will NOT help him get out early, but you WOULD help him stay longer. I know it is hard with the holidays right around the corner but you have to do what is in his best interest. It is not our job to be a friend. It is not our job to even be liked. It is our job to do what is best for our children. Be strong! You can do this! Hang in there! [/QUOTE]
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updating daily-Day 10, my son, in 1st detox, ?'s
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