Ups and Downs

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, May 31, 2009.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    difficult child is doing well on his new medication, Imiprimene. He's up to 40 mg now, and we're down to 20 mg of Adderall.
    His academic work lately has been absolutely abysmal. I can't tell how much of it is lack of interest and how much is lack of ability, Know what I mean??

    The good part is that although he is still argumentative, he is cooperating more, and is happier and steadier in the mornings. (Many of you will remember our morning struggles. I am still trying to forget. :anxious:)
    Sometimes, when I ask him to do something, he even says, "Sure!" It always catches me by surprise. :surprise:

    Yesterday we went to a graduation party for easy child's boyfriend. It's 1 hr and 20 min away, and the family has several acres of land, they're on the water, they have a speedboat, a Sicilian donkey, and a miniature pony (rescues), several cats, and 5 dogs. They had badminton set up, lots of food and drink and everything was very casual.
    difficult child immediately grabbed me to go for a walk to see the pony and mule. He said it was too noisy at the party and he didn't like it. I agreed with him. A couple of people joined us at the fence, which was a good way to get to know people. He needs to ease into things slowly.
    By the time we got back, one of the brothers asked him to play badminton, and he did, and then the dad asked if we wanted to go for a boat ride.
    It is SO nice to have older boys around! They are so calm, but still, adventuresome, and just by hanging around, their presence is a force in itself to get difficult child to cooperate.
    Quite a diff dynamic than "just Mom." Sigh.

    So, today, easy child offered to take difficult child back, just the two of them, to go tubing. Wow! They are getting along and it is so cool.

    Unfortunately, last night when we got home, we were so tired, and I went to give difficult child his pills--very late, and dropped one on the floor. When I stood up, I hit my head on the open cupboard door (not the first time--I think I should rearrange the cupboards) REALLY HARD, and ended up on the floor, swearing. I had no idea I was swearing (sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t) until the kids told me afterward, but difficult child laughed, and it made me really mad. I told him that was rude, and he countered with-"But you've laughed at me when I've gotten hurt." (Say what?) He then insisted I was a hypocrite.
    I got an ice pack and sat on the floor, and easy child came in and asked what was going on.
    She said she thought it was funny too, because of my reaction.
    I blew up and said, "What does it take to get one ounce of sympathy? Stitches? Go to BED!"
    They stood there, bug-eyed, slack-jawed, like they couldn't figure out what had come over me.
    And I got up and left for the couch, in the dark.

    Everybody laughs on occasion, for a second, when things like that happen, but then you catch yourself and apologize, and see if you can help. Nope. Not in this household.

    difficult child only wets his bed about twice a month now, so maybe next yr we can buy him a nice bed. We'll see.

    He is not going back to the same school. I signed him up for the local Catholic school. He's pretty upset. We told him we wouldn't decide until we saw his final grades, but that's not actually true. I just didn't want him to refuse to attend classes or events this coming wk.

    I found out that the girl he used to be friends with, the one he stole the underwear from, is going to the same school next yr. Ugh. At least they are 2 yrs apart.

    So, some things have improved, some, not.
    Last edited: May 31, 2009
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    The grad party sounds wonderful! What a great day for everyone.

    I am sorry the kids couldn't stop laughing long enough to realize that you really were hurt making it a non-laughing matter.

    It does sound like overall difficult child is doing much better. One cool indication of that is easy child willing to take him back to her boyfriend's home alone. That is a biggie!

    I hope difficult child has a great summer and continues to feel better. That word, "happier" brings so much peace to a mommy heart.

    Continue the good work. You are a great mom!
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad that easy child and difficult child are getting along. Sorry to hear that the kids were so unsympathetic. I hope your head is feeling better. Hopefully the summer will be great and will carry over into a smooth transtition into the new school.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
    They got home a little while ago and both had a good time.
    difficult child chickened out and never went tubing. He just stayed in the boat.
    We went tubing in CO several yrs ago and I went with-him. Literally. He grabbed onto the tube, and I draped myself over him. I don't know if he'd be too embarrassed if I did that now, but I'll give it a try at the next opportunity. I just hate to have him waste the opportunities.

    My head is better, although it really hurt to take a shower today. ;)
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I think that's a really good sign that he can verbalize when he is feeling overwhelmed by a situation and knows to give himself the space/time to adjust. Has he always been that way or do you think this is another benefit of his new medications?

    Sorry they didn't clue-in that you were really hurting yesterday :( Your out-of-character-swearing is probably what got them going, but I bet they won't be so quick to giggle next time something like that happens!
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Has he always been that way or do you think this is another benefit of his new medications?

    Good grief, no! He did nothing but scream until he was about 6. I used to wonder if it would never end.
    The medications have helped immensely, as has therapy, and maturity. Whew!

    Yeah, the swearing. LOL. Now I can at least smile about it. Neither one of them remembered that I pay them 25 cents every time I swear. I don't even remember swearing so they could easily say it was 100 times and make a huge profit. I will NOT remind them!