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Hello and welcome to the forum. Hugs to you as I can see you are hurting. I agree with the others that our adult children need to make their own decisions and face the consequences. Their life may not be what we had envisioned but so be it. Please take some time for yourself and seek counselling if you feel the need to. It worked wonders for me in terms of getting my esteem back, setting boundaries and learning to let go. Also seeing what manipulation on the part of our sons or daughters looks like. Lastly, let the dust settle for awhile. You have no need to contact him right away And you all need time to process. That is perfectly okay.