Hi QK,
So sorry for your need to be here, I am glad you posted, it is good to be able to express the hurt and dismay you are feeling. It is not exactly a conversation to be had over lunch with folks who have not experienced the pain of it. You are not alone. There are many here, including myself, who have been through the wringer with adult children’s alcoholism or addiction.
This is hard to go through, a long period of sobriety then relapse. I am sorry that the rage your son feels is expressed towards you. It is hurtful to endure.
He is responsible for his choices and situation. You have set a boundary and spoken truth and that’s not what he wants to hear. You didn’t cause it, can’t control it. Your home should be your sanctuary, a place of peace. My late hubs and I went through many chaotic episodes with our two daughters, before I finally realized that we were completely enmeshed in rescue mode. The trouble was, they did not want to be rescued from their addiction, they didn’t want the full consequences of their bad choices.
I came across this forum almost 9 years ago when I woke up and closed the “revolving door” to my home. Things had gotten so out of control. It was awful. The kind folks here helped me immensely to stay the course. I found strength and coping skills through posting and responding to other members posts. You can too.
I’m sorry for your aching Mommas heart.
Hugs
New Leaf
