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Vent: Messy house, oblivious Hubby, and pain...
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 366700" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>Mary, I've struggled with similar stuff. I have a good friend whose home could be described the same way, with a spouse with similar issues (actually, I'm pretty sure he's a compulsive hoarder and she's about one step away herself).</p><p> </p><p>My own husband is not so good at seeing the the big picture, either. I could ask him to "clean" a room, and his idea is to just stack the clutter. I've found that I have to be VERY specific... explicit in my request. Like "Can you please vacuum THIS rug for me?" "Would you please run a wash load of TOWELS and be careful not to OVERFILL the washer?" "Please wash THIS dish." "Please remember to trim the EDGE of the yard BEFORE you mow." </p><p> </p><p>It's aggravating to say the least, but it's just a different communication style I've had to develop since he's clearly not intuitive.</p><p> </p><p>That said, your situation is probably going to have to be tackled in small steps in small areas. I'd start with an area in the kitchen first and go from there -- the countertop would be a good place to start, because it is such a visually large space. (My grandmother always said the first thing to start on when my bedroom was a mess was to make the bed because it takes up such a big area and when it's tidy it makes the rest of the room look a lot less messy, but it's a fairly simple thing to accomplish). Ask husband and KT to take on a specific task that you cannot do. Explain that you really NEED their help to get this done. I'll bet that they are equally overwhelmed by the chaos they see, it just doesn't irritate them like it does for you because they aren't dealing with the pain on top of the heat on top of everything else. If you have a willing friend who can come over and help, that's even better -- it's much easier to deal with someone else's chaos than our own because we have no emotional attachment to the space.</p><p> </p><p>One more thing I thought might help you feel better... when you just can't take another second in that place, take a good book and go to the air-conditioned library or the mall for a few hours. </p><p> </p><p>(((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 366700, member: 3444"] Mary, I've struggled with similar stuff. I have a good friend whose home could be described the same way, with a spouse with similar issues (actually, I'm pretty sure he's a compulsive hoarder and she's about one step away herself). My own husband is not so good at seeing the the big picture, either. I could ask him to "clean" a room, and his idea is to just stack the clutter. I've found that I have to be VERY specific... explicit in my request. Like "Can you please vacuum THIS rug for me?" "Would you please run a wash load of TOWELS and be careful not to OVERFILL the washer?" "Please wash THIS dish." "Please remember to trim the EDGE of the yard BEFORE you mow." It's aggravating to say the least, but it's just a different communication style I've had to develop since he's clearly not intuitive. That said, your situation is probably going to have to be tackled in small steps in small areas. I'd start with an area in the kitchen first and go from there -- the countertop would be a good place to start, because it is such a visually large space. (My grandmother always said the first thing to start on when my bedroom was a mess was to make the bed because it takes up such a big area and when it's tidy it makes the rest of the room look a lot less messy, but it's a fairly simple thing to accomplish). Ask husband and KT to take on a specific task that you cannot do. Explain that you really NEED their help to get this done. I'll bet that they are equally overwhelmed by the chaos they see, it just doesn't irritate them like it does for you because they aren't dealing with the pain on top of the heat on top of everything else. If you have a willing friend who can come over and help, that's even better -- it's much easier to deal with someone else's chaos than our own because we have no emotional attachment to the space. One more thing I thought might help you feel better... when you just can't take another second in that place, take a good book and go to the air-conditioned library or the mall for a few hours. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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Vent: Messy house, oblivious Hubby, and pain...
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