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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 161397" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>BFD, </p><p> </p><p>You know I went thought similar things with difficult child. And I for whatever reason tried all the time to expalin things. IE: Well You didn't take out the trash, you need to pick this and that up, you this, you that, you didn't this. And this would give difficult child an opportunity to come back to me each time with his WHY he could do it later, tomorrow, never, etc. </p><p> </p><p>In therapy my therapist told us to start a new chart. I have been literally charted to death during the times Dude was here and winced my face and said NO not another chart. </p><p> </p><p>He suggested that I pick 3 chores or less Monday - Sunday and put a check by each one myself when they were done. If all 3 chores were done and I had 21 checks at the end of the week WITHOUT HAVING TO ASK.......THEN and ONLY then did we discuss WHAT Dude wanted to do. (like your video store) and THE REWARD WAS given a week AFTER. So there was NO - skipping or borrowing a day out on credit. NO credit. </p><p> </p><p>It was a little hard to stick to at first, but what I was instructed to do when I got the WHINER was to point to the chart and say NOTHING. If His 3 chores WERE done each day without ASKING then he got a star. 7 Stars got him a bonus of $7.00 for use when we went to the flea markets or garage sales. Or he could instead use all 7 star credits for a 1 time use of getting OUT of 1 daily chore. </p><p> </p><p>The beauty of the whole thing for me was I had to say NOTHING to whining boy all week long. I just pointed. I did NOT engage in a battle, I did NOT encourage him to debate me - I just pointed like a broken and rewinded picture over and over - point - walk away. </p><p> </p><p>It did work. 3 chores done EVERY day = 3 checks. 3 checks done every day = 1 bonus star. 21 checks = a reward he chose, total of 7 bonus stars could be turned in for $7, credit on 1 chore a week and no talking - just point. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe this will help. </p><p> </p><p>Venting, of course, is the biggest help. lol </p><p> </p><p>ARrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - yup all better now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 161397, member: 4964"] BFD, You know I went thought similar things with difficult child. And I for whatever reason tried all the time to expalin things. IE: Well You didn't take out the trash, you need to pick this and that up, you this, you that, you didn't this. And this would give difficult child an opportunity to come back to me each time with his WHY he could do it later, tomorrow, never, etc. In therapy my therapist told us to start a new chart. I have been literally charted to death during the times Dude was here and winced my face and said NO not another chart. He suggested that I pick 3 chores or less Monday - Sunday and put a check by each one myself when they were done. If all 3 chores were done and I had 21 checks at the end of the week WITHOUT HAVING TO ASK.......THEN and ONLY then did we discuss WHAT Dude wanted to do. (like your video store) and THE REWARD WAS given a week AFTER. So there was NO - skipping or borrowing a day out on credit. NO credit. It was a little hard to stick to at first, but what I was instructed to do when I got the WHINER was to point to the chart and say NOTHING. If His 3 chores WERE done each day without ASKING then he got a star. 7 Stars got him a bonus of $7.00 for use when we went to the flea markets or garage sales. Or he could instead use all 7 star credits for a 1 time use of getting OUT of 1 daily chore. The beauty of the whole thing for me was I had to say NOTHING to whining boy all week long. I just pointed. I did NOT engage in a battle, I did NOT encourage him to debate me - I just pointed like a broken and rewinded picture over and over - point - walk away. It did work. 3 chores done EVERY day = 3 checks. 3 checks done every day = 1 bonus star. 21 checks = a reward he chose, total of 7 bonus stars could be turned in for $7, credit on 1 chore a week and no talking - just point. Maybe this will help. Venting, of course, is the biggest help. lol ARrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - yup all better now. [/QUOTE]
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