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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 239657" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>There has to be another way, as you say. If both girls are feeling needy, then both girls are also feeling badly stressed, same as you. There are other ways to deal with stress - unfortunately, it takes an investment of time. You need to stretch yourself evedn thiner, if you can, and take some time out of your evening and spend it with each girl, privately. They each need you, exclusively, for maybe 15 minutes each day. And you nedd to give them that time unstintingly and without you watching the clock or privately fretting over how much better use you could make of your time. Again, not easy with where you are right now. But this has more chance of working than anything else.</p><p></p><p>Things to do with each of them - go for a walk. Play a game. Cook together in the kitchen (what she wants to cook, if you can). You can extend your together time, if she is helping you cook.</p><p></p><p>Your easy child is at a difficult age, they get very insecure but also very demanding and amazingly intolerant of younger siblings' foibles.</p><p></p><p>Other things you can do - relaxation therapy, as a group. Get a meditation tape and listen to it together, doing the exercises. Or go see a relaxation expert who can help teach you all skills in how to defuse your won stresses by a quick visualisation/relaxation exercise. The 9 year old is probably too young for this, but if you and easy child can do this, it could flow on to your 9 year old a little.</p><p></p><p>I know it's not a huge help, but it's the best I can think of with what you're fighting at the moment. And I figured, ANY help is better than none, because it could be enough to help you claw your way back up onto the ledge and into safety.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 239657, member: 1991"] There has to be another way, as you say. If both girls are feeling needy, then both girls are also feeling badly stressed, same as you. There are other ways to deal with stress - unfortunately, it takes an investment of time. You need to stretch yourself evedn thiner, if you can, and take some time out of your evening and spend it with each girl, privately. They each need you, exclusively, for maybe 15 minutes each day. And you nedd to give them that time unstintingly and without you watching the clock or privately fretting over how much better use you could make of your time. Again, not easy with where you are right now. But this has more chance of working than anything else. Things to do with each of them - go for a walk. Play a game. Cook together in the kitchen (what she wants to cook, if you can). You can extend your together time, if she is helping you cook. Your easy child is at a difficult age, they get very insecure but also very demanding and amazingly intolerant of younger siblings' foibles. Other things you can do - relaxation therapy, as a group. Get a meditation tape and listen to it together, doing the exercises. Or go see a relaxation expert who can help teach you all skills in how to defuse your won stresses by a quick visualisation/relaxation exercise. The 9 year old is probably too young for this, but if you and easy child can do this, it could flow on to your 9 year old a little. I know it's not a huge help, but it's the best I can think of with what you're fighting at the moment. And I figured, ANY help is better than none, because it could be enough to help you claw your way back up onto the ledge and into safety. Marg [/QUOTE]
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