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Parent Emeritus
Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 640131" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>Too true MWM!</p><p> </p><p>That is why I am recommending Lil give him some random thoughts on the issues not do it for him. It would be up to the people he approaches to assist him. It would be by their rules and their guidelines. Lil wouldn't have to be involved at all. I used to assist people with financial issues through a church organization. We did these things based off the information we had and we helped where we could. We didn't ask anything in return and we never assumed that everyone coming to us was honest. Other than family that he could speak to about possible options the church and organizations would be doing impersonal to an extent. Working within guidelines that are established as to what assistance they can and will give.</p><p> </p><p>If Lil's difficult child decides to abuse those things there is nothing she or Jabber can do about it. Plus as long as he is using assistance other than family members then they are not part of it. Maybe that is something to consider. Don't point out that family members might be able to help. Point him towards churches and organizations/businesses that could assist instead. I guess the reason I say family members is less for them to help him personally but more for the advice and assistance they could offer. A family member might know about an organization that could help.</p><p> </p><p>I think kids sometimes don't think outside the box. They think "I can't live at home so I must go get my own home." What they don't realize is that most of us didn't go from living at home with mom and dad to living in suburbia over night. We lived in college dorms or shared apartments and sometimes had parental help with the financing of these things. Our first "homes" were apartments or trailers or rental homes that we could barely afford. difficult child's for some reason think their lives should be cushy. Or they go to the opposite extreme and shun it all to live on the streets.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 640131, member: 15473"] Too true MWM! That is why I am recommending Lil give him some random thoughts on the issues not do it for him. It would be up to the people he approaches to assist him. It would be by their rules and their guidelines. Lil wouldn't have to be involved at all. I used to assist people with financial issues through a church organization. We did these things based off the information we had and we helped where we could. We didn't ask anything in return and we never assumed that everyone coming to us was honest. Other than family that he could speak to about possible options the church and organizations would be doing impersonal to an extent. Working within guidelines that are established as to what assistance they can and will give. If Lil's difficult child decides to abuse those things there is nothing she or Jabber can do about it. Plus as long as he is using assistance other than family members then they are not part of it. Maybe that is something to consider. Don't point out that family members might be able to help. Point him towards churches and organizations/businesses that could assist instead. I guess the reason I say family members is less for them to help him personally but more for the advice and assistance they could offer. A family member might know about an organization that could help. I think kids sometimes don't think outside the box. They think "I can't live at home so I must go get my own home." What they don't realize is that most of us didn't go from living at home with mom and dad to living in suburbia over night. We lived in college dorms or shared apartments and sometimes had parental help with the financing of these things. Our first "homes" were apartments or trailers or rental homes that we could barely afford. difficult child's for some reason think their lives should be cushy. Or they go to the opposite extreme and shun it all to live on the streets. [/QUOTE]
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Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
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