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Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 640180" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>Several of you have mentioned no longer giving him advice. Personally, I quit (well, mostly anyway) giving him advice a while ago. Sick of the arguments and being told "I tried that and it didnt work!" every time. I've told him multiple times what he needed to do to job hunt. I got the above quote repeatedly. I finally told him this summer that its my job to teach people how to job hunt. It is as I currently help offenders make video resumes and have been gearing up to teach an employability skills class. I have a room full of books, granted some a bit dated, on the subject and spend a lot of time on the internet at work researching different job related issues. I've held more jobs at one time than he has held in his life but I dont know what I'm talking about. Got tired of it so now he gets pissy sometimes when we are talking and I dont say much because I'm tired of beating my head against the wall.</p><p></p><p>As far as family helping, other than Lil's brother and sister in law, who arent in a position to help due to her elderly father living with them and she retired early to take care of him, both of our families live over an hour away. I spoke with my mom yesterday and she actually mentioned being troubled about the possibility of him asking to stay with them. I kinda laughed and told her that probably wont happen. Mom and dad are SUPER religious and he would be required to go to church with them...three times a week, to the local shelter to help feed, and whatever other volunteer thing they are currently doing. They are retired so would always be at the house and wouldnt give him a car to go job hunting, they would drive him. In short, HE WOULD HATE IT!! </p><p></p><p>As to the church members helping, I will expand a bit on Lil's comment. Yes, its a small congregation. Our pastor does have a discretionary fund to give people in need assistance but it is geared more towards getting some groceries or gas to make it through the week. I dont think he gives out more that $30 or so at a time. There is a local organization of churches that people can petition to help keep their utilities from being cut off but the Salvation Army Shelter covers all the resources for finding low cost housing other that government assisted housing and they help with that. If a member of the congregation were to offer to let him stay there I would have to VERY strenuously object as he would only take advantage of them the same way he has us.</p><p></p><p>As far as what he's willing to do to earn and obtain these things; well lets be honest, thats the reason we're on this board calling him our difficult child. Because he thinks these things should be given to him and what little money he earns can be blown on what he wants. That is one of the big lessons he needs to learn. Life isnt easy and things arent handed to you just because you want them.</p><p></p><p>So yeah, Lil wants him to come home and I want him to make his own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 640180, member: 18238"] Several of you have mentioned no longer giving him advice. Personally, I quit (well, mostly anyway) giving him advice a while ago. Sick of the arguments and being told "I tried that and it didnt work!" every time. I've told him multiple times what he needed to do to job hunt. I got the above quote repeatedly. I finally told him this summer that its my job to teach people how to job hunt. It is as I currently help offenders make video resumes and have been gearing up to teach an employability skills class. I have a room full of books, granted some a bit dated, on the subject and spend a lot of time on the internet at work researching different job related issues. I've held more jobs at one time than he has held in his life but I dont know what I'm talking about. Got tired of it so now he gets pissy sometimes when we are talking and I dont say much because I'm tired of beating my head against the wall. As far as family helping, other than Lil's brother and sister in law, who arent in a position to help due to her elderly father living with them and she retired early to take care of him, both of our families live over an hour away. I spoke with my mom yesterday and she actually mentioned being troubled about the possibility of him asking to stay with them. I kinda laughed and told her that probably wont happen. Mom and dad are SUPER religious and he would be required to go to church with them...three times a week, to the local shelter to help feed, and whatever other volunteer thing they are currently doing. They are retired so would always be at the house and wouldnt give him a car to go job hunting, they would drive him. In short, HE WOULD HATE IT!! As to the church members helping, I will expand a bit on Lil's comment. Yes, its a small congregation. Our pastor does have a discretionary fund to give people in need assistance but it is geared more towards getting some groceries or gas to make it through the week. I dont think he gives out more that $30 or so at a time. There is a local organization of churches that people can petition to help keep their utilities from being cut off but the Salvation Army Shelter covers all the resources for finding low cost housing other that government assisted housing and they help with that. If a member of the congregation were to offer to let him stay there I would have to VERY strenuously object as he would only take advantage of them the same way he has us. As far as what he's willing to do to earn and obtain these things; well lets be honest, thats the reason we're on this board calling him our difficult child. Because he thinks these things should be given to him and what little money he earns can be blown on what he wants. That is one of the big lessons he needs to learn. Life isnt easy and things arent handed to you just because you want them. So yeah, Lil wants him to come home and I want him to make his own. [/QUOTE]
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