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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
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<blockquote data-quote="GuideMe" data-source="post: 640246" data-attributes="member: 18233"><p>Yes, it has been difficult and yes, I have been doing the best I can all of these years to work through it. I've read a lot of psychology, way too much to be honest. I understand all of the reasons why they were the way they were, but I have come to realize, that I will never be all the way over it unless I am validated by them or someone close to the situation who has their respect for some of their wrong doings. They are of the older generation, where they admit nothing, ever. They do no wrong. I have apologized to them over and over again. I know I was a difficult child mean little brat to them. All I ask is for some admition for anything that they might have done to contribute the toxicness.....just to show they care, but that will never happen. I can't be 100% wrong for everything. Anyway, thanks for your loving and kind words Cedar. They mean a lot. And my BS meter is great, lol, but because of my upbringing, I ignored it because I wanted to give everyone a chance, a million times over and believed everybody at their word. I wanted what I never had. It's even more frustrating, that yes, I might have lied here and there, but doesn't everybody? However, I was never known as a liar, so this treatment was very unfair in my eyes. In fact, it made me always want to tell the truth (way too much, I lost a part of my self because I showed people too much just to be believed) just to prove to them that I am not a liar and that got me no where as well. I can never win, anywhere. Story of my life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GuideMe, post: 640246, member: 18233"] Yes, it has been difficult and yes, I have been doing the best I can all of these years to work through it. I've read a lot of psychology, way too much to be honest. I understand all of the reasons why they were the way they were, but I have come to realize, that I will never be all the way over it unless I am validated by them or someone close to the situation who has their respect for some of their wrong doings. They are of the older generation, where they admit nothing, ever. They do no wrong. I have apologized to them over and over again. I know I was a difficult child mean little brat to them. All I ask is for some admition for anything that they might have done to contribute the toxicness.....just to show they care, but that will never happen. I can't be 100% wrong for everything. Anyway, thanks for your loving and kind words Cedar. They mean a lot. And my BS meter is great, lol, but because of my upbringing, I ignored it because I wanted to give everyone a chance, a million times over and believed everybody at their word. I wanted what I never had. It's even more frustrating, that yes, I might have lied here and there, but doesn't everybody? However, I was never known as a liar, so this treatment was very unfair in my eyes. In fact, it made me always want to tell the truth (way too much, I lost a part of my self because I showed people too much just to be believed) just to prove to them that I am not a liar and that got me no where as well. I can never win, anywhere. Story of my life. [/QUOTE]
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Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
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