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Parent Emeritus
Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 640277" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>My life was very different than you ladies. My parents were old enough to be my grandparents. They married at 19 and 35 years old and were married 14 years before they had my brother, 4 more before me. We grew up on a small farm, five miles from the nearest town. I wasn't "popular" as a kid, but I had friends. I drank in my teen years, as did all country kids, but no more than some and less than others. It was always expected I'd go to college. Neither of my parents got through high school and I remember my mom's ambition for me was to have a job where I worked in air conditioning. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> They just wanted us to be happy. They never talked to me about money. It wasn't until my mom died while I was in law school that I realized that their helping support me was causing them problems. I just expected their help. I usually didn't have to ask. I think the closest they ever got to telling me I was sucking up their money was when I told them I was going to law school...mom literally cried and said, "You'd stay in school forever if you could afford it." I really didn't think about it though...by then I was taking out student loans and they weren't really helping me. My mom died in 1987 ad I still miss her every day. Daddy two years later. He was the best man I'd ever known until I met Jabber. </p><p></p><p>I can't remember never feeling loved. I'm not saying it was always perfect and of course we had spats. I know I got my butt tanned a time or two. I'm sure I drove them crazy sometimes, but it was never anything but the normal teenage stuff. I literally kissed my parents goodnight every single night until I was out of the house. They were very affectionate and we were very close. When I had a son instead of a daughter, I know that I wouldn't have the same relationship with him I had with my mom...but I expected the closeness, love and respect I had with my mom and dad. That disappointment is hard to get over.</p><p></p><p>Want to hear the ironic thing? My son would never have been born if they'd have lived longer. They would not have approved of my ex, and I would never have married anyone they didn't approve of while they lived. I love my son with all my heart, that's just strange to me sometimes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 640277, member: 17309"] My life was very different than you ladies. My parents were old enough to be my grandparents. They married at 19 and 35 years old and were married 14 years before they had my brother, 4 more before me. We grew up on a small farm, five miles from the nearest town. I wasn't "popular" as a kid, but I had friends. I drank in my teen years, as did all country kids, but no more than some and less than others. It was always expected I'd go to college. Neither of my parents got through high school and I remember my mom's ambition for me was to have a job where I worked in air conditioning. :) They just wanted us to be happy. They never talked to me about money. It wasn't until my mom died while I was in law school that I realized that their helping support me was causing them problems. I just expected their help. I usually didn't have to ask. I think the closest they ever got to telling me I was sucking up their money was when I told them I was going to law school...mom literally cried and said, "You'd stay in school forever if you could afford it." I really didn't think about it though...by then I was taking out student loans and they weren't really helping me. My mom died in 1987 ad I still miss her every day. Daddy two years later. He was the best man I'd ever known until I met Jabber. I can't remember never feeling loved. I'm not saying it was always perfect and of course we had spats. I know I got my butt tanned a time or two. I'm sure I drove them crazy sometimes, but it was never anything but the normal teenage stuff. I literally kissed my parents goodnight every single night until I was out of the house. They were very affectionate and we were very close. When I had a son instead of a daughter, I know that I wouldn't have the same relationship with him I had with my mom...but I expected the closeness, love and respect I had with my mom and dad. That disappointment is hard to get over. Want to hear the ironic thing? My son would never have been born if they'd have lived longer. They would not have approved of my ex, and I would never have married anyone they didn't approve of while they lived. I love my son with all my heart, that's just strange to me sometimes. [/QUOTE]
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Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
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