Very frustrating IEP

Discussion in 'Special Ed 101' started by Liahona, May 22, 2012.

  1. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Today was difficult child 1's IEP. I've been dreading this for months just because I'm not sure what to expect when he goes to jr. high. I don't really know the environment, how difficult child 1 would react to the environment, and what difficult child 1 would need to be a success. So I asked here and I asked his therapist and I asked the NAMI/advocate person. I did my homework and had a good list of what might be needed. I even asked them to post-phone the IEP to gather more data. Someone from the jr. high was there to help work through what the environment was going to be like.

    That jr. high person was awful. We would think of something difficult child 1 would need and she would shoot it down. Oh, we can't do that because... Almost every time. We ended up with 4 very vague goals and no accommodations written into the IEP. Because she thought that was a 504 thing and sp. ed. is where he would need specialized instruction. Hello, this kid needs so many accommodations that the sp. ed. teachers have to get involved. Plus, he does have a disability as defined by IDEA. All the rest of the team feels difficult child 1 needs an aide and lots of what was discussed was met with "the aide can do that, but we don't know for sure if he'll have one yet." The aide, that he might not get and she doesn't think he needs, will be in charge of all the accommodations. After the meeting I called the school therapist and she and I wrote down what all the aide would be in charge of. Because we sure didn't write it down in the IEP! Even the stuff she agreed with wasn't put in the IEP. difficult child 1 is to have a counselor that I can call if he is having hallucinations at home that would affect school, and whose office is to be difficult child 1's safe spot when he gets emotional (of course the fictional aide is to take him to the counselors office when the aide sees that he is getting worked up.) This isn't in the IEP! I feel steamrolled by just one woman. The rest of the team wasn't happy with her either. The next IEP will be in Aug. right before school starts. I think next time I'm going to write my own IEP draft to take with me and an advocate. A lot of what jr. high woman said was well we don't know what his schedule will be or I have the ask the district about that. One thing that she might be good at is getting difficult child 1 a sp. ed. bus instead of having him take the regular bus. This bus would have more supervision on it and pick him up at our door instead of having him wait with a bunch of other kids.

    Thanks for letting me vent. Any suggestions would be welcome too.
  2. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    The school therapist would go to write an accommodation into the IEP because all the team was agreeing that he needed it and she would tell her not to because she didn't want to sign someone else up for something. I was about ready to strangle her. Next time maybe we should have all 8 teachers there plus the sp. ed staff plus the counselors plus my advocate.
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    UHG! I so feel for you. The transition to middle school, I think, is the worst. And here, the middle school staff was the least adept at handling things. I hope the reality for you and difficult child 1 is better than the glimpse you got.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    oh my gosh, did you excuse anyone in writing from attending the IEP? Were ALL of the providers there? Who was the special education designee...the one who represents the authorization of funds as mandated for all IEP meetings?

    This chick seems to not understand what an IEP is at all!!! You have every right to want to strangle her, of course you are right and she is wrong.

    The process is is a is what we can offer....

    The process is, what are the strengths and needs.... what are the can we accomplish the goals (services, environment, technology, accommodations). This lady has it all wrong.

    Well, I dont know about you but I have NO PROBLEM sending back the IEP draft with tons of marks and revisions and I put the accommodations in my words. I check I do not agree if they have sent the draft with a sig. page...and then expect a revised doctor.

    I know you know all this stuff, just sharing my outrage with you! These are the meetings where I wish we could join each other and call them out, give them a taste of their own medicine!

    next time wire her chair and every time she starts to object push the pain button...

    I really wonder what her position was if she thinks that there are no accommodations on an IEP. EVERYTHING from a 504 is included in an IEP... a 504 is what has less (the services etc.).

    I would have been very angry and confused about how this chick can even be allowed to talk in an IEP meeting too. (she is going to e nd up costing h er district a lot of money when some parent catches on and nails their behinds to the wall)
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Next round, take a professional advocate... if you can find one. It needs to be much more than you vs. school.
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    She is the assistant to the head sp. ed person in the jr. high. I forget what her title is.

    I'm mostly mad at myself. I knew she was lying to my face. Why couldn't I call her on it? I'm just not comfortable with confrontation and have such a great relationship with the el. school staff that I wasn't expecting it. Even the school therapist tried to call her on the transportation issue and was shot down. We were very frustrated.

    I've already called the advocate. She is going to poke around with some district people about this school and see what they have done in the past. What their sp ed department normally does. It had better be more defined goals than "difficult child 1 will have no aggression for the school quarter." What exactly is aggression? Is holding a kids clothes so they can't move? (He was doing that today.) Is it making bruises? Is it physical harm without bruises? Is it intimidation? Because difficult child 1 will push the boundary to the limit and if everyone isn't on the same page he will play one adult against the other. (And he is smart enough he won't get caught at it.) 8 teachers. This is going to be a nightmare.

    Buddy, I like the pain button idea.
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Liahona, do exactly whay Buddy said. When you get the final copy to approve with the form saying you agree, say you agree with the IEP EXCEPT and then list EVERYTHING that was agreed on by everyone except her. YOU have the final say. She can't decide if he gets an aide or not. She can't decide if an accommodation will be made or not. That is the TEAM decision. The TEAM makes all the decisions and it's her job to figure out a way to make it happen. Someone needs to teach her that. I HATE meetings like that with people like that. been there done that and I still despise our "sour apple".
  8. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I've already signed it! AGHHHHHH. I will go back to the school and write a note to go into his file about what I don't like about the IEP and that I signed with the assurance we would have another IEP meeting in Aug. before school starts.

    Why did I do that? I know better. I guess having one bad IEP meeting isn't the end of the world. At least I can call another one.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    OH for sure, you are know this stuff and yes, you can change your is ok!

    First, did you check something that said "I agree" or did you sign the attendance for the meeting? even if you checked "I agree" that is fine, you can disagree at any time. If they try to stop that, just make it clear you are going to use every due process right you have. Read those forms they send on parent rights.... they will tell you what to do and so will your advocate. Tell her/him that they had you sign right there even though you were clearly not comfortable with the situation.

    For anything but initial Special Education. services, many states do not require an agreement signature. BUT you can disagree in writing. So you can still do that at any time I am sure (check with your advocate how to do t hat in your state) Just write a letter stating that following discussion and further thought, you do not agree with the IEP dated XXX as written and want to discuss revisions. You can call an IEP meeting at any time. If they dont agree to changes then you have the next step is to use due process and your advocate will know how to do that, even if it means going to mediation. My suggestion now that we are at the end of middle school??? Set the bar NOW. Go in with the IEP you want and let this chick see that you are not the mom to be pushed around.

    I never ever sign or even let a parent sign off on an IEP at a meeting where we are drafting it. You were just bullied at a vulnerable time (going to mid was so scary, but despite what happened in 8th grade, we really did have the best time in 6th grade and I was surprised). We typically write the draft at the meeting, meaning people say the contents of the goals and maybe some of them actually have examples typed up, but the document is not presented as a final. yikes, that is poor. Should have been put together based on the meeting then sent to you with ten days to read and revise/object/etc. (in mn we have a sig. page but it is not required to agree to an IEP, it just goes into affect after so many days if no sig. page comes back. But we DO have to sign if we disagree)

    You've got this! Now that you have time to think, you can work this out. Sounds like the others on the team agree with you so she is full of beans.

    I am sorry this woman pressured you and super sorry that the current people didn't stand up to her better. As Te Do said, that was a team decision and the members of the team are to be people who know the student and can contribute to the IEP. This chick was just a "no" man
  10. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    What do you guys think of this letter? Do you think this is to many people? It'll be 17 people.

    Dear Ms. sp. ed. teacher,

    Upon going home and thinking about it I am very displeased with the IEP as it stands now. It does not address the accommodations that difficult child 1 needs to succeed in school and is way to vague. I am glad Ms. jr. high woman agreed to another IEP meeting before school starts in Aug. I expect all difficult child 1's teachers, counselor, school psychologist, transportation person, sp. ed. teachers, and the LEA to be there. It would also be good to have the aide there. I will also be bringing an advocate and difficult child 1's therapist.


    Mrs. difficult child 1's mom
  11. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I had an IEP meeting today with the middle school (mine is starting this fall too) and I can't stress how much I feel having an advocate there helped. While I was the one doing the pushing for what I wanted I feel his presence alone (and the fact he made it plain and open that everything was being recorded as well) made everything go much smoother and got what we needed for Kiddo to hopefully have a decent start. I didn't find my advocate through NAMI, I got mine through the local League of the Blind and Disabled.
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    You rock. go ahead and give them your revisions before that if you want to, then if they come in with another proposed IEP you can see if they listened to you!
  13. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    "will have no aggression during school quarter" ??? is that a goal or the schools wish list? did they have something like 80% of the time based on teacher observation added to that? Just trying to figure out how they fit that into a measurable goal, how they would define aggression is an issue too - is a loud sigh aggression?

    I agree with the others you want a trained advocate helping you as I seriously wonder if the people writing that IEP have had any training in that area. I would have the advocate help you with that letter as I would include the accommodations I would want in August and also give solid reasons why they are needed; the advocate will know better how to word it to leave them the least wiggle room. With a couple months notice they can't act in August like what your asking for is a surprise.

    I use to never sign IEPs at the meeting but would take home to review then return signed IEP - they caught on to me my state took out the whole signature page over a year ago. The sign in page is still there but they got rid of the whole agree/ disagree or disagree but will allow implementation. I think they are still mad at me at the last IEP I didn't sign the invite or the sign in sheet until I saw the finished IEP LOL - told them if I didn't agree with it was going to claim they didn't even invite me and leave it to them to prove I was ever there. I just don't feel like playing this silly game with them anymore. by the way 15yo's transition to middle school IEP was 5 meetings before finalized.