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Very Torn
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 572729" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Welcome. Glad you found us but sure sorry you needed to seek us out. I have not walked in your shoes but I can asure you that at least a couple times a year someone new posts a similar sad story. Most of the time the bioDad is a good quiet man who is delighted to turn over the parenting responsibilities to a fine woman who can raise his child and put together a happy home. Almost never is the bioDad actively engaged in receiving counseling, reading books, attending sessions with the therapist or the psychiatrist etc. I am not "anti" Dad but repeatedly when thre are big problems the Dads run for cover and expect their wives to solve the problems. It can not work! You have three birth children who, evidently, have not yet been sadly impacted by your stepson's mental illness. To the best of your knowledge I assume he has not sexually harmed them or physically harmed them but chances are great that he has harmed their sense of self confidence and safety. It is not fair for them to live in fear.</p><p></p><p>I hope you have kept a dairy of his behaviors, medications, treatments, out of home placements and evaluations. It is vastly important that you be able to state "this child can no longer live in my home as he is a threat to all of us". If a long term placement is not available for him...he and his Dad will have to live somewhere else. I know this sounds harsh and unfeeling but it is my honest opinion. Soon you will receive other opinions. This is a wonderful site and not all of us agree on each set of problems. I hope you find the best answer for yours. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 572729, member: 35"] Welcome. Glad you found us but sure sorry you needed to seek us out. I have not walked in your shoes but I can asure you that at least a couple times a year someone new posts a similar sad story. Most of the time the bioDad is a good quiet man who is delighted to turn over the parenting responsibilities to a fine woman who can raise his child and put together a happy home. Almost never is the bioDad actively engaged in receiving counseling, reading books, attending sessions with the therapist or the psychiatrist etc. I am not "anti" Dad but repeatedly when thre are big problems the Dads run for cover and expect their wives to solve the problems. It can not work! You have three birth children who, evidently, have not yet been sadly impacted by your stepson's mental illness. To the best of your knowledge I assume he has not sexually harmed them or physically harmed them but chances are great that he has harmed their sense of self confidence and safety. It is not fair for them to live in fear. I hope you have kept a dairy of his behaviors, medications, treatments, out of home placements and evaluations. It is vastly important that you be able to state "this child can no longer live in my home as he is a threat to all of us". If a long term placement is not available for him...he and his Dad will have to live somewhere else. I know this sounds harsh and unfeeling but it is my honest opinion. Soon you will receive other opinions. This is a wonderful site and not all of us agree on each set of problems. I hope you find the best answer for yours. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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