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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 400830" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am SO SORRY. This was completely wrong of him - COMPLETELY!!! I really hope and pray that the two of you can work out whatever is the best thing for your family, and that the two of you can work together as effective and good parents regardless of what works out as far as your marriage. This is not going to be easy whether you stay and work things out or one of you leaves and you divorce. If you have a therapist that you can work with, please call them. An in-person unbiased source of support is going to be crucial to working through this in a healthy way, no matter what your choices are. Also see your doctor (psychiatrist if you have one) because this is so terribly stressful. make sure you are healthy and the stress isn't going to make health problems worse - essp if you have high blood pressure, migraines, etc... The kids need you to be as healthy as possible.</p><p> </p><p>DDD has excellent advice. Many times when our loved ones know that we have been hurt they become very angry at the person who hurt us. Even if WE work through things and forgive the one who hurt us, our loved ones find it harder to forgive and move on. They can say and do things that will make future relationships very very difficult - and they can heap shame and blame onto our pain. </p><p> </p><p>I am NOT saying to not tell anyone. Just to be sure that they will honor your decisions during and after this ordeal. </p><p> </p><p>Whatever you do, you have total support from me. Sending lots of hugs and love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 400830, member: 1233"] I am SO SORRY. This was completely wrong of him - COMPLETELY!!! I really hope and pray that the two of you can work out whatever is the best thing for your family, and that the two of you can work together as effective and good parents regardless of what works out as far as your marriage. This is not going to be easy whether you stay and work things out or one of you leaves and you divorce. If you have a therapist that you can work with, please call them. An in-person unbiased source of support is going to be crucial to working through this in a healthy way, no matter what your choices are. Also see your doctor (psychiatrist if you have one) because this is so terribly stressful. make sure you are healthy and the stress isn't going to make health problems worse - essp if you have high blood pressure, migraines, etc... The kids need you to be as healthy as possible. DDD has excellent advice. Many times when our loved ones know that we have been hurt they become very angry at the person who hurt us. Even if WE work through things and forgive the one who hurt us, our loved ones find it harder to forgive and move on. They can say and do things that will make future relationships very very difficult - and they can heap shame and blame onto our pain. I am NOT saying to not tell anyone. Just to be sure that they will honor your decisions during and after this ordeal. Whatever you do, you have total support from me. Sending lots of hugs and love. [/QUOTE]
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