One: No word on that job so I`m assuming that it`s a no go obviously. But that`s not my biggest issue.... There`s been a few red flags lately that I was ignoring thinking, in denial, that I`m just being crazy and paranoid or something. Husband has been hiding stuff on the computer. Like last night...He was talking to someone on Yahoo from his Yoville friends. I passed by and he quickly minimized the chat and snuck a side glance at me. Did this several times and when he wanted to go downstairs for coffee while I was going to leave the room to do something else I hestitated and wanted to see if he`d leave the computer unattended and leave the room first. He hesitated too and `pretended`to tidy up a little...moving his jacket, picking up a few stray toys and moving them around the room. It`s almost as if he was...waiting for me to leave first. It`s not the only red flag. I got a feeling a few months back about this one lady on his FB and in IMVU and Yoville. I know all his passwords (maybe wrong of me but when a lady has a gut feeling you just can`t ignore it no matter how much in denial one may be in), I checked on his FB messages and email and there are a lot of sexual innuendos between him and this lady. The first gut feeling was a naked IMVU character picture he actually had the balls to post in his FB photo albums with this chicks character in it (both naked characters, literally banging as it`s said, IMVU is nasty, it`s a virtual chat server with 3D characters and rooms). Since last night I threw a keylogger on the computers. I`m not happy right now to say the least but I`m not going to accuse of anything until I find out just how far this has gone in the last year since he`s known her and she`s been on his FB. He met her in Yoville on FB. I snooped this morning on his FB pm`s (yes I know, no better than what he`s doing but with 5 kids to think about and possibly needing to save a 13 year marriage I won`t let it go, I don`t care what people think, he knows I have his passwords and he has all of mine too) and caught a message he forgot to delete from her. Her words were that she loved him and she would talk to him tonight when his `f**er wasn`t around`. Really...I think he started deleting messages on FB and in email from her because he caught on to my snooping but forgot to get rid of this one. There are other red flags too, every time he`s been on IMVU he seems to want "IT" in a bad way (if you know what I mean). I didn't catch on until just before Christmas for that connection. I'm so rip roaring peeved off right now, when I found that message this morning with the reference to me being a "f**er" and "not around" I was shaking so badly. I'm just so numb right now - he's the last person I'd ever expect this from after everything hellish we've gone through and come away from over the years. Back in 2005 some chick on Yahoo chat started calling him at home and I found out then too. It was "curiosity" in his words. Maybe I've been this stupid about all this since 2005, maybe he's done it before without my knowledge or me catching on in between then and now. I just can't believe this sh!t. 5 kids, 13 yrs of marriage...All the hard times, good times and all the battles up mountains we went through together...and now this. I feel so frigging betrayed. My dad did this for all of my parent's 21 years of marriage. His dad did it to his mom for 26 years of marriage. I thought I broke that cycle...maybe I'm just stupid to think it would ever be different for me than it was for my mom or his....I'm all over the place right now ain't I. Well...I can say this at least: Never **** off a computer tech with friends in high places. If he is cheating whether emotional relationship (and I'm lucky to stupid "B" is in Texas so there's no way they've physically been together and he got savvy to phone calls to him but I don't know if he's made them out to others) or other and I don't know IF he's had any physical relationships with anyone he can get access too in or close to out of town, I will not let him get away with it without paying a hefty price for his actions. Where does one start..and what IF I am wrong but I've always been told your gut instincts are usually right and that a feeling should never be ignored...I'm completely at a loss for all of this.