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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 400850" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>First, more than anything else - HUGS. Lots of them.</p><p> </p><p>I've seen this happen several times, and it could have even happened with me (though I saw where things were going and shut it down). Technology is great, and horrible at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>Fact - XH was addicted to internet nasties. I didn't realize it until after I'd left, but this is not as uncommon as people think. I felt betrayed all over again. </p><p> </p><p>The kids are hurt because he is using time he could be with them, to be online.</p><p> </p><p>in my opinion - I would tell him... "We talk a lot, but you know it seems you're being secretive and it's bothering me... What can WE do to work this out?" See if he comes clean. Even a reasonable amount. A friend of mine's husband was doing all this, all but physical, and he had <em>no idea how much it was bothering her</em>. I told her to talk to him - and it stopped.</p><p> </p><p>We used to laugh at cybersex. Now it's gotten much, much worse. Texting, facebook, and so on. He can stop, and attempt to repair the damage. No, it's not easy to stop - I went through texting withdrawal - and it's hard to repair the damage (fortunately mine didn't get THAT far, whew) - and maybe he will lose a friend - but better a friend than his family.</p><p> </p><p>If he is non-confrontational... Then it should be (relatively) easy to just NOT respond to her. IF HE WANTS TO.</p><p> </p><p>Last... More hugs. I know how this feels. Too well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 400850, member: 6705"] First, more than anything else - HUGS. Lots of them. I've seen this happen several times, and it could have even happened with me (though I saw where things were going and shut it down). Technology is great, and horrible at the same time. Fact - XH was addicted to internet nasties. I didn't realize it until after I'd left, but this is not as uncommon as people think. I felt betrayed all over again. The kids are hurt because he is using time he could be with them, to be online. in my opinion - I would tell him... "We talk a lot, but you know it seems you're being secretive and it's bothering me... What can WE do to work this out?" See if he comes clean. Even a reasonable amount. A friend of mine's husband was doing all this, all but physical, and he had [I]no idea how much it was bothering her[/I]. I told her to talk to him - and it stopped. We used to laugh at cybersex. Now it's gotten much, much worse. Texting, facebook, and so on. He can stop, and attempt to repair the damage. No, it's not easy to stop - I went through texting withdrawal - and it's hard to repair the damage (fortunately mine didn't get THAT far, whew) - and maybe he will lose a friend - but better a friend than his family. If he is non-confrontational... Then it should be (relatively) easy to just NOT respond to her. IF HE WANTS TO. Last... More hugs. I know how this feels. Too well. [/QUOTE]
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