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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 416527" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Thanks, susiestar, some helpful ideas. I did try your chocolate reward with J this morning - that is to say, I explained that I was going to put an eye drop in one eye and then he could have half a chocolate biscuit and so on and he replied: "No, I want the chocolate and not the eye drop...!" Unfortunately you don't know J - his will is the strongest I have ever encountered in man or beast (seriously) and if he doesn't want to do a thing, it's not going to happen... I have lost this battle of the eye drops I'm afraid to confess... but if they really do sting, I have some sympathy. </p><p>Truth is, I don't know what his problem is either! And he hasn't had any diagnosis yet... We saw the child psychiatrist this morning and she said that she wasn't ready to make any diagnosis now (suits me) and suggested he goes for group play sessions with other children where apparently he will be evaluated. You are quite right that I need to keep my own frustration in check with him. For some time now I have felt we are in this together - he needs to learn to control his emotions better, and so do I... With an "easier" child I could get away with being irritable and short-fused, but not with this one. </p><p>To be honest, I keep J's qualities, and my love for him, to the forefront of my mind, not the difficulties and negativities, otherwise our lives together would be hellish and unmanageable... He is a super little boy who has some difficult edges to his character with which he needs help - that's how I see it for the moment. The ADHD thing... I honestly don't see how a child who concentrates as long and as well as he does can be said to have an attention deficit so I'm not so much based towards that at the moment. </p><p>I would be really interested to know if anyone else has a child who is hyperactive without attention problems!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 416527, member: 11227"] Thanks, susiestar, some helpful ideas. I did try your chocolate reward with J this morning - that is to say, I explained that I was going to put an eye drop in one eye and then he could have half a chocolate biscuit and so on and he replied: "No, I want the chocolate and not the eye drop...!" Unfortunately you don't know J - his will is the strongest I have ever encountered in man or beast (seriously) and if he doesn't want to do a thing, it's not going to happen... I have lost this battle of the eye drops I'm afraid to confess... but if they really do sting, I have some sympathy. Truth is, I don't know what his problem is either! And he hasn't had any diagnosis yet... We saw the child psychiatrist this morning and she said that she wasn't ready to make any diagnosis now (suits me) and suggested he goes for group play sessions with other children where apparently he will be evaluated. You are quite right that I need to keep my own frustration in check with him. For some time now I have felt we are in this together - he needs to learn to control his emotions better, and so do I... With an "easier" child I could get away with being irritable and short-fused, but not with this one. To be honest, I keep J's qualities, and my love for him, to the forefront of my mind, not the difficulties and negativities, otherwise our lives together would be hellish and unmanageable... He is a super little boy who has some difficult edges to his character with which he needs help - that's how I see it for the moment. The ADHD thing... I honestly don't see how a child who concentrates as long and as well as he does can be said to have an attention deficit so I'm not so much based towards that at the moment. I would be really interested to know if anyone else has a child who is hyperactive without attention problems! [/QUOTE]
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