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General Parenting
visited difficult child I at the shelter today %$%^#$^#&*
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 202796" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm sorry he mouthed off at you, but proud of how you handled it.</p><p></p><p>Another follow-through suggestion for you - for future reference, if/when GFGII starts in on you about it all being your fault, slam on the brakes (hope he's wearing his seatbelt) and refuse to go on until you get it straightened out between you - ask him, quietly,for his expert advice on parenting. "I'm sorry, son, I didn't realise I was so inneffectual at parenting and yet somehow you have gleaned the skills I so sadly lack. Pray, advise me - just exactly how should I have handled matters, so we had a better outcome that is not in any way my fault?"</p><p>Sit there and take notes. You don't have to reply or give your judgement on what he says at tis point, take your time and think about it (because surely, HE has thought things through carefully before speaking?)</p><p>If he asks for immediate feedback, tell him that distilled wisdom needs time to take on board, as a flower cannot take in too much fertiliser at the one time without getting burned. You need time to assimilate such enlightenment.</p><p></p><p>Chances are, he has no goodadvice. he's just sounding off, because his brother has shown him that this is the way to get your frustrations out in the open. And if GFGII doesn't learn otherwise, you'll have another problem on your hands. Surely he would like to learn profitably from his brother, and NOT follow in his footsteps?</p><p></p><p>Idiots. The pair of them. Glad you shook up your older one just as he needs it.</p><p></p><p>Don't sweat it about the lack of condoms - he either wouldn't have used them anyway (either refusing to have sex, or the girls would have told him not to bother) or he would have played with them, made a joke out of them. Better save your money. For now, anyway.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 202796, member: 1991"] I'm sorry he mouthed off at you, but proud of how you handled it. Another follow-through suggestion for you - for future reference, if/when GFGII starts in on you about it all being your fault, slam on the brakes (hope he's wearing his seatbelt) and refuse to go on until you get it straightened out between you - ask him, quietly,for his expert advice on parenting. "I'm sorry, son, I didn't realise I was so inneffectual at parenting and yet somehow you have gleaned the skills I so sadly lack. Pray, advise me - just exactly how should I have handled matters, so we had a better outcome that is not in any way my fault?" Sit there and take notes. You don't have to reply or give your judgement on what he says at tis point, take your time and think about it (because surely, HE has thought things through carefully before speaking?) If he asks for immediate feedback, tell him that distilled wisdom needs time to take on board, as a flower cannot take in too much fertiliser at the one time without getting burned. You need time to assimilate such enlightenment. Chances are, he has no goodadvice. he's just sounding off, because his brother has shown him that this is the way to get your frustrations out in the open. And if GFGII doesn't learn otherwise, you'll have another problem on your hands. Surely he would like to learn profitably from his brother, and NOT follow in his footsteps? Idiots. The pair of them. Glad you shook up your older one just as he needs it. Don't sweat it about the lack of condoms - he either wouldn't have used them anyway (either refusing to have sex, or the girls would have told him not to bother) or he would have played with them, made a joke out of them. Better save your money. For now, anyway. Marg [/QUOTE]
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visited difficult child I at the shelter today %$%^#$^#&*
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