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waiting for the other shoe......
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 283925" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I asked my ex-drug abuser daughter about an intervention and she said, "If he's selling drugs and still using without expressing an interest in changing, forget it." That's her take on it. She also said "If he's using, he's selling. That's how it works. Everyone who uses sells." I know my daughter had many people ready to do her damage because of drug deals gone wrong. That's one reason we wanted to get her out of town--she had expressed a strong wish to quit using (and had quit at various times) along with confessing that there were dangerous people after her. They didn't care that she was a female either. Your son is in a bad place right now and the intervention is definitely going to be a waste of time in my opinion. Your hub has been great to you. in my opinion go along with him, take a third honeymoon, bring easy child with you and let him have fun...let this one go for now. You aren't going to change him. Oh, and yes the dentist is often used to get heavy narcotics for pain. </p><p>All in all, I think you were doing well for a while and are now slipping. Don't let him control your life. I know it's hard--he's your child--I've been there. But you have another child, a husband, and a life beyond him. He may never change. One of my daughter's birthfathers is 39 and in jail for the umpteeth time for a drug related crime--he stole a vehicle for a robbery. Trust me, his family tried and tried and tried--and he has the incentive of his birth daughter. If he straightened out his act we would allow him to see her (assuming she still has an ounce of respect left for him and wants to see him too). Although he whines about loving her, even his birth daughter hasn't stopped him from his drug addiction. </p><p>You can waste your entire life waiting for this son to change. Don't do it. He made his choices. It's time for you to enjoy the rest of your life, regardless of what he does.</p><p>You can't change him. He's not ten years old anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 283925, member: 1550"] I asked my ex-drug abuser daughter about an intervention and she said, "If he's selling drugs and still using without expressing an interest in changing, forget it." That's her take on it. She also said "If he's using, he's selling. That's how it works. Everyone who uses sells." I know my daughter had many people ready to do her damage because of drug deals gone wrong. That's one reason we wanted to get her out of town--she had expressed a strong wish to quit using (and had quit at various times) along with confessing that there were dangerous people after her. They didn't care that she was a female either. Your son is in a bad place right now and the intervention is definitely going to be a waste of time in my opinion. Your hub has been great to you. in my opinion go along with him, take a third honeymoon, bring easy child with you and let him have fun...let this one go for now. You aren't going to change him. Oh, and yes the dentist is often used to get heavy narcotics for pain. All in all, I think you were doing well for a while and are now slipping. Don't let him control your life. I know it's hard--he's your child--I've been there. But you have another child, a husband, and a life beyond him. He may never change. One of my daughter's birthfathers is 39 and in jail for the umpteeth time for a drug related crime--he stole a vehicle for a robbery. Trust me, his family tried and tried and tried--and he has the incentive of his birth daughter. If he straightened out his act we would allow him to see her (assuming she still has an ounce of respect left for him and wants to see him too). Although he whines about loving her, even his birth daughter hasn't stopped him from his drug addiction. You can waste your entire life waiting for this son to change. Don't do it. He made his choices. It's time for you to enjoy the rest of your life, regardless of what he does. You can't change him. He's not ten years old anymore. [/QUOTE]
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