Hi Trying:
Our almost 24 year old son is on my health insurance right now. He does not work full time (going to welding school) but if he DID and he was eligible for insurance through HIS employer but was on mine and my company found out that I'm covering him I could be terminated. I am not sure that is the case for you but you may want to look into it. Of course at 26 they are off automatically. For me it's the December of the year he turns 26 that he ages out of coverage.
I agree with the others. I actually told my son to pretend we did not exist. How would he do things then??? He is living with us until he learns a trade and can be on his own and I cannot WAIT for that day!!! I do not like him living with us. I did initially but I honestly don't think it is helping HIM to be with US. He needs to grow up and be in his own place making his own way. I desperately want that.
Please let him be. If he doesn't contact you then that probably means he's going along okay. You cannot make him change. I agree not to say anything. What you/we say goes in one ear and out the other. Why even put that effort forth. It doesn't matter. Please listen to your parents group. He does not have any respect for you and his father right now so stop beating your heart against a rock and try to accept this is how it is NOW. He has a lot of changing to do before you can have a healthy relationship with him. It's his journey and his timing.
Having him far away is probably a good thing. I did just fine when my son was far away. My therapy learning boundaries and detachment worked for me. I am still practicing both with him because I'm important too and so are you!!
You are doing better than you give yourself credit for I think.
Praying for your peace.
