Not sure when I updated everyone on my son who lives 1500+miles away in a state where weed is legal. Lives alone in an apartment. Since last June we have supported 6 attempts at some sort of treatment whether it be inpatient from 5-28 days or IOP's to the last attempt a 2 week PHP after a 5 week bender and not giving a "f**k" like he says... Somehow through all of this his job was protected through FMLA and short term disability. Plus since he his an alcoholic - this disease is protected under the ADA... So like I wrote before he treats us like crap, we enabled him way too long and now realize that all of our attempts to help just "one more time" from paying a months rent to paying the fine to break the lease early, did absolutely nothing for him. Plus we didn't even get a thank you! The debt we have accrued through all of this is disheartening because I had heard that he is back to smoking weed and drinking. There was no Happy Mother's day call or text... No Happy Fathers day call or text either. I got a text 3 weeks ago asking for help so he and his new girlfriend could go to an event out of state... I ignored that text completely... Then last Sat I get a text with a picture of his renters ins. bill.. I replied that I am not on the lease anymore so I don't feel I need to pay that... got an "lol" reply.. Have not heard from him since. My husband did call and left a voicemail just to touch base and that was ignored again like always. The ins. bill is due tomorrow... I am cringing that he is going to text me to see if I paid it. I have heard a 2 weeks ago that he is not in a good financial place that he can't even afford his medication. He stopped getting the shot to stop the cravings.... said he couldn't afford the copay...$40... I understand that he has a lot of bills due to being at the ER many times for detox medications and then drinking the following day and then returning a few days later to another ER ... I want to say so many things to him but I am told by my parents group to say nothing. To not engage in any conversation or manipulation on my part. If he does text me to see if I paid the bill.... I want to say.. "I feel hurt that you only contact me when you want a bill paid. We don't have the money to pay it. We need to take care of ourselves and have helped you so much last year between breaking the lease, paying for treatment and flying out so many times. Maybe instead of getting tattoos all the time, you should put so much money away for these bills that come due. I don't even know if you are sober? You are not working any type of program that I am aware of." But I am told to just say No I am not paying it and don't say anything else... UGH so hard! I feel lost most days and then other days angry inside that I don't have any relationship with my son. In his eyes, we are horrible. I pray that one day he will realize we did this to try to save him. If he relapses badly again, I just don't know how he will make it with his apartment, etc. He doesn't want to have an eviction on his record or credit but if he can't get his crap together, that may be what will happen. Thanks for listening. I just don't understand why he can't follow the recommendations and stop always trying to do it his way.