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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 224109" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. Long time warrier mom here. I'm not criticizing you because many of us jump to these conclusions, especially with stepkids with difficult birthmothers, but maybe he can't help how he behaves. Maybe he is not the same as other kids. Remember, he has inherited half of his genes from his birthmother and she may function poorly due to a disorder of her own that was never diagnosed. Any substance abuse there? Substance abuse is common in mood disorders. Mood disorders can make one act very irrational until the person is stable. That's one thing you may consider.</p><p>Maybe your stepson really just doesn't "get" that he is being selfish and inappropriate. Even kids that SEEM to be making our lives miserable on purpose often are acting out due to undiagnosed, underlying disorders that have been missed. If he has never been intensively evaluated, you don't really know why he is acting the way he does. I think it's well worth the money to see a private neuropsychologist and have him completely checked out. They do, by far, the best evaluations. I would skip the counseling for now, not until he is evaluated, because some disorders get you school interventions and they don't cost anything. And not all disorders are best treated by counseling. Some kids don't respond to counseling at all. Some don't even understand counseling, especially really young ones.</p><p> in my opinion, he needs an evaluation desperately. A neuropsychologist evaluation would be the best, but if you can't afford one...not sure what to tell you. I'd try to save up? We were lucky and insurance covered ours.</p><p> ODD is not normally a useful diagnosis--it just means defiance--all our kids have that. What we need to find out is WHY they are defiant. ODD rarely stands alone and the ADHD medications aren't helping him. He could have something else that mimics ADHD--like a severe mood disorder or Aspergers Syndrome. How was his early development? Did he hit his milestones on time? Make good eye contact? Cuddle? Does he have any obsessive interests? Is this child socially appropriate? Can he interact well with his same age peers? What kinds of issues make him inflexible? What is the psychiatric tree like on both sides? Genes do tell a lot as does early development. We really need to know more. </p><p>You may want to post a signature on the bottom like I did. It will give all of us a fast overview so that we can try to help you better <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 224109, member: 1550"] Hi there. Long time warrier mom here. I'm not criticizing you because many of us jump to these conclusions, especially with stepkids with difficult birthmothers, but maybe he can't help how he behaves. Maybe he is not the same as other kids. Remember, he has inherited half of his genes from his birthmother and she may function poorly due to a disorder of her own that was never diagnosed. Any substance abuse there? Substance abuse is common in mood disorders. Mood disorders can make one act very irrational until the person is stable. That's one thing you may consider. Maybe your stepson really just doesn't "get" that he is being selfish and inappropriate. Even kids that SEEM to be making our lives miserable on purpose often are acting out due to undiagnosed, underlying disorders that have been missed. If he has never been intensively evaluated, you don't really know why he is acting the way he does. I think it's well worth the money to see a private neuropsychologist and have him completely checked out. They do, by far, the best evaluations. I would skip the counseling for now, not until he is evaluated, because some disorders get you school interventions and they don't cost anything. And not all disorders are best treated by counseling. Some kids don't respond to counseling at all. Some don't even understand counseling, especially really young ones. in my opinion, he needs an evaluation desperately. A neuropsychologist evaluation would be the best, but if you can't afford one...not sure what to tell you. I'd try to save up? We were lucky and insurance covered ours. ODD is not normally a useful diagnosis--it just means defiance--all our kids have that. What we need to find out is WHY they are defiant. ODD rarely stands alone and the ADHD medications aren't helping him. He could have something else that mimics ADHD--like a severe mood disorder or Aspergers Syndrome. How was his early development? Did he hit his milestones on time? Make good eye contact? Cuddle? Does he have any obsessive interests? Is this child socially appropriate? Can he interact well with his same age peers? What kinds of issues make him inflexible? What is the psychiatric tree like on both sides? Genes do tell a lot as does early development. We really need to know more. You may want to post a signature on the bottom like I did. It will give all of us a fast overview so that we can try to help you better :) [/QUOTE]
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