Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
We are going through something here
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 221290"><p>My daughter has permission to allow this one person to be in the apartment, even overnight. The Landlord likes him and he keeps other people who are less savory away. Normally, he is quiet and respectful and my guess is that they were unaware of the incident.</p><p> </p><p>We have let difficult child go hungry before..but not for extensive periods of time...only for a few days here and there. She becomes frightened, agitated and desperate. It is very ugly. We hope that she will recall how she felt and learn. </p><p> </p><p>Last time, she told the boy's father and he invited them to dinner...but my guess is they are in the same place we are and said something along the lines that this would be a rare thing and told difficult child to dump him and that he was no good.</p><p> </p><p>Both difficult child and the new difficult child are resespectful people with good hearts. He recently lost his job and is looking daily for a new one. My guess is he lost it due to drinking...but I don't know this for a fact. His father is very angry with him. My difficult child has been happier in recent months than I have ever seen her. She finally has a good friend of sorts. It is sad....but at least he seems to like her even though she is overweight and has her issues (which he never comments on). The physicial incident was somewhat mild...but don't get me wrong...I am well aware of how these things escalate. difficult child took it very seriously and took action immediately calling friends and the boy's father. He was drinking at the time. She doesn't seem to be the type to put up with physical abuse...but I think if she feels despearte...might. </p><p> </p><p>difficult child wants him to go to AA...but he says he doesn't want to go. It's ashame, because although it is hard to tell, it seems he has only recently started to drink. His mother died last year and this is when it started.</p><p> </p><p>husband and I (for now anyway) are trying to teach difficult child lessons in increments...letting her go hungry for a few days, with-o killing her. It is my opinion that we can't rehabilitate dead difficult children. She seems to have a terrible thought processing problem and it is hard to tell if the lesson can even be learned like one would expect. I don't want to teach a lesson at the risk of being inhumane. </p><p> </p><p>Someone mentioned the idea of not helping difficult child with food, with the exception of inviting her to our home for meals. This is a good suggestions (thank you) and if push came to shove, we might do this. I could invite her over Perhaps for lunch and dinner and give her just enough for breakfast the next day, so she doesn't have to come 3x a day.</p><p> </p><p>I don't think this is a black and white situation and I see that there are varying trains of thought. I know with our son, we did the tough love thing and it worked. We are unsure if this is the right approach for someone who doesn't process normally. It is dangerous and could result in a tragedy. </p><p> </p><p>Personally, I think few understand the dilema, conflict and loss.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 221290"] My daughter has permission to allow this one person to be in the apartment, even overnight. The Landlord likes him and he keeps other people who are less savory away. Normally, he is quiet and respectful and my guess is that they were unaware of the incident. We have let difficult child go hungry before..but not for extensive periods of time...only for a few days here and there. She becomes frightened, agitated and desperate. It is very ugly. We hope that she will recall how she felt and learn. Last time, she told the boy's father and he invited them to dinner...but my guess is they are in the same place we are and said something along the lines that this would be a rare thing and told difficult child to dump him and that he was no good. Both difficult child and the new difficult child are resespectful people with good hearts. He recently lost his job and is looking daily for a new one. My guess is he lost it due to drinking...but I don't know this for a fact. His father is very angry with him. My difficult child has been happier in recent months than I have ever seen her. She finally has a good friend of sorts. It is sad....but at least he seems to like her even though she is overweight and has her issues (which he never comments on). The physicial incident was somewhat mild...but don't get me wrong...I am well aware of how these things escalate. difficult child took it very seriously and took action immediately calling friends and the boy's father. He was drinking at the time. She doesn't seem to be the type to put up with physical abuse...but I think if she feels despearte...might. difficult child wants him to go to AA...but he says he doesn't want to go. It's ashame, because although it is hard to tell, it seems he has only recently started to drink. His mother died last year and this is when it started. husband and I (for now anyway) are trying to teach difficult child lessons in increments...letting her go hungry for a few days, with-o killing her. It is my opinion that we can't rehabilitate dead difficult children. She seems to have a terrible thought processing problem and it is hard to tell if the lesson can even be learned like one would expect. I don't want to teach a lesson at the risk of being inhumane. Someone mentioned the idea of not helping difficult child with food, with the exception of inviting her to our home for meals. This is a good suggestions (thank you) and if push came to shove, we might do this. I could invite her over Perhaps for lunch and dinner and give her just enough for breakfast the next day, so she doesn't have to come 3x a day. I don't think this is a black and white situation and I see that there are varying trains of thought. I know with our son, we did the tough love thing and it worked. We are unsure if this is the right approach for someone who doesn't process normally. It is dangerous and could result in a tragedy. Personally, I think few understand the dilema, conflict and loss. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
We are going through something here
Top