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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 558698" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Great job recoveringenabler there! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/bigsmile.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":bigsmile:" title="big smile :bigsmile:" data-shortname=":bigsmile:" /></p><p></p><p>Both telling and demonstrating how to do it at once.</p><p></p><p>You are of course very right, but unfortunately I think most of us (if not all) are in our worst as communicating when it comes to those closest to us and matters closest to our hearts. People who are extremely good listeners and communicators for example in their work go home and have inane fights with their SOs or kids or parents over even blatant miscommunication. Of course we can always try to better our communicating skills also with our loved ones (at especially with difficult children it is often absolutely necessary) and psychiatric ourself up for most important discussions with our SOs. But it is often very difficult to be a good communicator with your loved ones. </p><p></p><p>With my husband I have found that writing letters often tends to work better than talking in most difficult matters. And at times we have also times our says during debate. Other one gets two minute say to make their point and other one is not allowed to interrupt, after that other one has a say and so forth. We also take time outs and cool off middle of the arguments especially when we are getting too heated. Those are things that have helped us at least somewhat to hear each others. </p><p></p><p>And you can never press too much how important it is to validate other person if you want something from them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 558698, member: 14557"] Great job recoveringenabler there! :bigsmile: Both telling and demonstrating how to do it at once. You are of course very right, but unfortunately I think most of us (if not all) are in our worst as communicating when it comes to those closest to us and matters closest to our hearts. People who are extremely good listeners and communicators for example in their work go home and have inane fights with their SOs or kids or parents over even blatant miscommunication. Of course we can always try to better our communicating skills also with our loved ones (at especially with difficult children it is often absolutely necessary) and psychiatric ourself up for most important discussions with our SOs. But it is often very difficult to be a good communicator with your loved ones. With my husband I have found that writing letters often tends to work better than talking in most difficult matters. And at times we have also times our says during debate. Other one gets two minute say to make their point and other one is not allowed to interrupt, after that other one has a say and so forth. We also take time outs and cool off middle of the arguments especially when we are getting too heated. Those are things that have helped us at least somewhat to hear each others. And you can never press too much how important it is to validate other person if you want something from them. [/QUOTE]
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