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We know where my daughter is
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 222479" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Bran, you said, "She knows good and xxxxxx well that I am a wreck with worry but she just doesn't care."</p><p> </p><p>She DOES care. She has been trying to punish you. And I agree, you have to stop letting her play you so successfully.</p><p> </p><p>However, do your best to not give back to her what she has dished out to you. Do not give like for like - all that teaches our kids is revenge and "do unto others before they do unto you".</p><p> </p><p>Instead, do what you intend - work on yourself, on the others in your family, be happy and carefree (which should be easier once you know she is safely away from these problem people).</p><p> </p><p>She made her choices, now you have to let her reap what she has sown, without even being tempted to run to the rescue. because she IS going to cry, and weep, and apologise, and beg you to rescue her.</p><p> </p><p>Do not let this get to you. Instead, be loving but firm. "I love you, you know I do, but you cannot disrupt us any longer. You made your choices, you need to follow through. You also need to make new choices and not have other people make them for you. I love you, stay in touch, I will support you emotionally as long as you're genuine about your efforts, but I will not bail you out from your own mistakes any longer. That would not help you, it would only make it worse for you. It is now time for you to own your own life."</p><p> </p><p>Good luck. Be strong. Get help and support for yourself and the rest of your family, and detach. Paste a smile on your face even when you feel like you're being ripped apart inside. Soon the smile will trickle through to the inside and begin to warm you a bit deeper.</p><p> </p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 222479, member: 1991"] Bran, you said, "She knows good and xxxxxx well that I am a wreck with worry but she just doesn't care." She DOES care. She has been trying to punish you. And I agree, you have to stop letting her play you so successfully. However, do your best to not give back to her what she has dished out to you. Do not give like for like - all that teaches our kids is revenge and "do unto others before they do unto you". Instead, do what you intend - work on yourself, on the others in your family, be happy and carefree (which should be easier once you know she is safely away from these problem people). She made her choices, now you have to let her reap what she has sown, without even being tempted to run to the rescue. because she IS going to cry, and weep, and apologise, and beg you to rescue her. Do not let this get to you. Instead, be loving but firm. "I love you, you know I do, but you cannot disrupt us any longer. You made your choices, you need to follow through. You also need to make new choices and not have other people make them for you. I love you, stay in touch, I will support you emotionally as long as you're genuine about your efforts, but I will not bail you out from your own mistakes any longer. That would not help you, it would only make it worse for you. It is now time for you to own your own life." Good luck. Be strong. Get help and support for yourself and the rest of your family, and detach. Paste a smile on your face even when you feel like you're being ripped apart inside. Soon the smile will trickle through to the inside and begin to warm you a bit deeper. Marg [/QUOTE]
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