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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 328019" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>I can't think of anything to ad to the previous post. You're mind is probably reeling from all this info. It's a lot to digest, especially if you are already emotionally,mentally adn physically exhausted from the effort of trying to contain your step-son.</p><p> </p><p>I will just add, from my own experience with my son, that if there are other minor children in your household, you will be held responsible for their safety. I have come close to losing my 13 yr old daughter in the past because I didn't do an adequate job of keeping her safe from my son, and he didn't do half the stuff your stepson is doing. It sounds cold and maybe draconian, but you have to treat him like a threat to your safety and have a plan and most importantly STICK TO IT.</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child's are experts at pitting adults against each other. If you can't get total agreement and cooperation with your spouse, the biological parent, then get yourself and your other kids out.</p><p> </p><p>I was going to suggest that you look into stepson enrolled in a juvenile court supervision/probation program, where he signs a contract that he will obey house rules, go to school, go for substance abuse counseling, therapy, etc, and then if he violate a rule, you call his probation officer and they are the bad guy who pulls him in front of a judge or sends him to juvenile detention. However, as the dad who responded below acknowledged, if he doesn't want to change, you aren't going to get much cooperation with the probation plan. Then it depends on how seriously the juv probation people take their cases. My son was able to get around most of the things he was supposed to do because he's a middle-class kid with educated parents, and they don't really want to be bother with "trifling" cases like ours: they have hardcore kids with gang affiliations, neglectful or abusive parents, poverty, drug addiction, etc. </p><p> </p><p>The only thing you can't do is nothing. Do what you have to do to protect any younger kids and yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 328019, member: 5941"] I can't think of anything to ad to the previous post. You're mind is probably reeling from all this info. It's a lot to digest, especially if you are already emotionally,mentally adn physically exhausted from the effort of trying to contain your step-son. I will just add, from my own experience with my son, that if there are other minor children in your household, you will be held responsible for their safety. I have come close to losing my 13 yr old daughter in the past because I didn't do an adequate job of keeping her safe from my son, and he didn't do half the stuff your stepson is doing. It sounds cold and maybe draconian, but you have to treat him like a threat to your safety and have a plan and most importantly STICK TO IT. My difficult child's are experts at pitting adults against each other. If you can't get total agreement and cooperation with your spouse, the biological parent, then get yourself and your other kids out. I was going to suggest that you look into stepson enrolled in a juvenile court supervision/probation program, where he signs a contract that he will obey house rules, go to school, go for substance abuse counseling, therapy, etc, and then if he violate a rule, you call his probation officer and they are the bad guy who pulls him in front of a judge or sends him to juvenile detention. However, as the dad who responded below acknowledged, if he doesn't want to change, you aren't going to get much cooperation with the probation plan. Then it depends on how seriously the juv probation people take their cases. My son was able to get around most of the things he was supposed to do because he's a middle-class kid with educated parents, and they don't really want to be bother with "trifling" cases like ours: they have hardcore kids with gang affiliations, neglectful or abusive parents, poverty, drug addiction, etc. The only thing you can't do is nothing. Do what you have to do to protect any younger kids and yourself. [/QUOTE]
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