Weekend Visit and a Return Date

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Re1096, Nov 9, 2010.

  1. Re1096

    Re1096 Guest

    Good Tuesday all...

    So here are a few updates.

    difficult child will be spending the weekend here in my home, the other mother is going out of town for the weekend and there has been so much drama going on I am seriously afraid to leave difficult child there without the parental figure she has been answering to, even though there will be two other adults in the house. I asked if she would like to say here and she said sure. I am a bit apprehensive because whenever she has agreed to stay here in the past it has been because she wanted something and when she didn't get exactly what it was she would pout and make it complete hell to be around her. So we shall see.

    In the mean time.. the other mother has chosen a date for difficult child's return back to my home. January 1. Which by the way will make complete chaos of PC1s Christmas break home. That will be right in the middle of his visit and he refuses to stay here in the house with her. She has "borrowed" his things one too many times without permission. Anyway there was not much I could say but.. ok. It is not like I can tell this woman no.. I won't take her back.

    So my husband who doesn't live with me but is right next door came up with a plan. We make a bedroom for her at his house. Kinda of like an immediate action, no tolerance room. She comes back here and the second she decides to turn this household upside down with her actions or behaviors there is no "I am going to find somewhere else for you to go" no "I am researching placement centers" it will be pack your things you are gone march across the yard until we can find permanent accommodations. SILLY me decided to ask my mother for a twin bed that I knew she had in storage that will rot sitting there cause she keeps EVERYTHING... bad idea. Next thing I know she is screaming and yellin at me that I CAN NOT send difficult child to stay with husband, that it is unacceptable and on and on and on before ever hearing the plan. I hate to say it but I lost my temper and just plain screamed if you can come up with a better plan THEN CALL ME. She said she would as soon as she came up with a plan for her.. I said GREAT WONDERFUL THAT IS THE BEST NEWS EVER cause now I will NEVER have to hear from you again. (I hung up then) Yea I know not very mature but I am at my wits end. With all of this! Between the drama of the teen agers, the constant she is coming back she isn't coming back and then the complete and total lack of listening in my mothers department.. I don't know which end is UP!

    Personally I thought it was a good in the mean time idea.. what do you guys think???
  2. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    I think it is a great idea. Quick consequence is always the most effective, and we found that splitting them up solved a lot of problems. She might even like a privet space away in a different house. It would give her a chance to release the steam without someone to argue with.

    You do need to apologize to your mother, if not on the phone then write a letter. Then don't include her in any decisions, don't give her any information, and above all don't lessen to her. When she starts in simply say good by, leave or hang up. She simply is not capable of understanding and you can't let her add to the stress.

    Lock away things and don't forget to spend sometime on yourself.
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I think it's a good idea. Is adding a key lock to easy child's room an available option as well?