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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 207740" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>First, welcome. Like you, I adopted my daughter after several foster homes. She also has mild Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE). The tantrums when she was young were unbelievable both in the rage and the duration.</p><p> </p><p>I did learn that spanking helped not at all. It gave me some relief but the guilt was overwhelming and it didn't stop a single behavior of hers. A good, swift swat can get the message across to many children. It rarely does with kids like ours. </p><p> </p><p>Like yours, mine needed her nap. If she ddn't get a nap, it was rare that we would go out that evening. I never made it a punishment but I understood that sometimes she'd be too excited to sleep because of the event that evening. If it was truly important to her, we'd go for a short while and the second I saw that she was getting over stimulated, we left. If it wasn't that important to her, then we would stay home and have special cuddle time.</p><p> </p><p>I tried medications with my daughter but because of her physical makeup and metabolism, they just didn't work. I wish they would have. I think they would have made her life a lot easier. I understand the reluctance to not medicate but sometimes it can make a huge difference for the child. I liken it to a child being a diabetic. You wouldn't say no to insulin. Well, sometimes medications are the best thing you can do for your child with mental issues. I would tread very carefully with medications but I wouldn't automatically say no to them.</p><p> </p><p>If you haven't read them, the Keck books on adopting a hurt child are excellent and very helpful. The book most of us recommend is The Explosive Child. It really helps with understanding our children and gives a new perspective.</p><p> </p><p>Do go for a new evaluation, especially a neuropsychologist evaluation. This is something I had never heard of when mine was younger and I so wished I had. It might have made a huge difference in things I did when she was younger. I know that when I finally did get an evaluation of some sort, it did help and I did change some of my parenting because of it.</p><p> </p><p>You've found a great group here. Come for advice, support, laugh and love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 207740, member: 3626"] First, welcome. Like you, I adopted my daughter after several foster homes. She also has mild Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE). The tantrums when she was young were unbelievable both in the rage and the duration. I did learn that spanking helped not at all. It gave me some relief but the guilt was overwhelming and it didn't stop a single behavior of hers. A good, swift swat can get the message across to many children. It rarely does with kids like ours. Like yours, mine needed her nap. If she ddn't get a nap, it was rare that we would go out that evening. I never made it a punishment but I understood that sometimes she'd be too excited to sleep because of the event that evening. If it was truly important to her, we'd go for a short while and the second I saw that she was getting over stimulated, we left. If it wasn't that important to her, then we would stay home and have special cuddle time. I tried medications with my daughter but because of her physical makeup and metabolism, they just didn't work. I wish they would have. I think they would have made her life a lot easier. I understand the reluctance to not medicate but sometimes it can make a huge difference for the child. I liken it to a child being a diabetic. You wouldn't say no to insulin. Well, sometimes medications are the best thing you can do for your child with mental issues. I would tread very carefully with medications but I wouldn't automatically say no to them. If you haven't read them, the Keck books on adopting a hurt child are excellent and very helpful. The book most of us recommend is The Explosive Child. It really helps with understanding our children and gives a new perspective. Do go for a new evaluation, especially a neuropsychologist evaluation. This is something I had never heard of when mine was younger and I so wished I had. It might have made a huge difference in things I did when she was younger. I know that when I finally did get an evaluation of some sort, it did help and I did change some of my parenting because of it. You've found a great group here. Come for advice, support, laugh and love. [/QUOTE]
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