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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 119399" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) stinks! I honestly believe I'd rather have a child be bipolar with severe aspergers than go through the hell of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) again.</p><p> </p><p>The only way I could my child from running would have been to cut off her feet and even then I doubt that would have stopped her. She started running at age 6 and continued until she was sent to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for help in her mid teens. Sadly, running was the easiest part -- I called the police and waited for her to come home. Not once did they find her.</p><p> </p><p>Mine was manipulative; if she opened her mouth you knew a lie would come flying out; whenever we went anywhere, I had to do a complete body check to make sure nothing was taken (okay, to return what had been taken); was physically violent. This was ages 4-10. Puberty brought a whole set of new issues on top of the old ones. Plus, there was much more sophistication in the lies, stealing, etc. The things that did stop were the violence and the out-of-control rages but only because I started calling the police each and every time. Puberty began the cutting school every chance possible, lying about her being abused at home, etc. I finally saw there was no choice. I could not help her any more and sent her to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I truly believed it saved her.</p><p> </p><p>Today, she still hates to hear no and can argue it until the cows have come home, left and come home again. I just don't bother listening to it. If her frustration level is too high, she can scream at jet-level decibels. She does not run -- she knows I'll lock the door and I may or may not let her back in one day. The lying and stealing have stopped. At the present time, I am treating her as a tenant -- she pays rent, buys her own food, etc. As long as her room is a mess, her door is to stay closed. In return, she has to do no chores, can sleep as late as she wants, no rules as to what she does or does not do. She does not like it but she won't do the necessary to get her life back. Her choice.</p><p> </p><p>With Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids, as much as possible let natural consequences do the work for you. Keep your voice calm, simply state and repeat a rule as needed. Since he's a runner, have him take his shoes off the second he walks in the door. They are then locked away -- trunks of cars work real well for this. Shoes other than those worn that day are locked away as well. He'll still run but not as far.</p><p> </p><p>Now the questions. Was he adopted or have problems as an infant? Does he have friends? Is he overly friendly to strangers? Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is not a diagnosis I would wish on my worst enemy. It takes extensive therapy to even remotely help. So, I'm hoping your son's diagnosis is wrong.</p><p> </p><p>No matter welcome. We'll be here to help as much as we can.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 119399, member: 3626"] Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) stinks! I honestly believe I'd rather have a child be bipolar with severe aspergers than go through the hell of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) again. The only way I could my child from running would have been to cut off her feet and even then I doubt that would have stopped her. She started running at age 6 and continued until she was sent to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for help in her mid teens. Sadly, running was the easiest part -- I called the police and waited for her to come home. Not once did they find her. Mine was manipulative; if she opened her mouth you knew a lie would come flying out; whenever we went anywhere, I had to do a complete body check to make sure nothing was taken (okay, to return what had been taken); was physically violent. This was ages 4-10. Puberty brought a whole set of new issues on top of the old ones. Plus, there was much more sophistication in the lies, stealing, etc. The things that did stop were the violence and the out-of-control rages but only because I started calling the police each and every time. Puberty began the cutting school every chance possible, lying about her being abused at home, etc. I finally saw there was no choice. I could not help her any more and sent her to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I truly believed it saved her. Today, she still hates to hear no and can argue it until the cows have come home, left and come home again. I just don't bother listening to it. If her frustration level is too high, she can scream at jet-level decibels. She does not run -- she knows I'll lock the door and I may or may not let her back in one day. The lying and stealing have stopped. At the present time, I am treating her as a tenant -- she pays rent, buys her own food, etc. As long as her room is a mess, her door is to stay closed. In return, she has to do no chores, can sleep as late as she wants, no rules as to what she does or does not do. She does not like it but she won't do the necessary to get her life back. Her choice. With Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids, as much as possible let natural consequences do the work for you. Keep your voice calm, simply state and repeat a rule as needed. Since he's a runner, have him take his shoes off the second he walks in the door. They are then locked away -- trunks of cars work real well for this. Shoes other than those worn that day are locked away as well. He'll still run but not as far. Now the questions. Was he adopted or have problems as an infant? Does he have friends? Is he overly friendly to strangers? Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is not a diagnosis I would wish on my worst enemy. It takes extensive therapy to even remotely help. So, I'm hoping your son's diagnosis is wrong. No matter welcome. We'll be here to help as much as we can. [/QUOTE]
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