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Welcome praeda!
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 187475" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Hi Praeda, welcome.</p><p>gosh, your son sounds like mine. Except that he sometimes hugs me--really tightly--and other times stiffens up. And he generally makes good eye contact.</p><p>I hear you.</p><p>I would suggest that you lower your expectations of having him hug you. I mean, completely wipe it off the slate, at least for the time being. You're expecting a dog to act like a cat. Really.</p><p>You need to establish rules and boundaries. You're thinking he won't listen, but he will, because you have bargaining chips--for ex., where does he get his music? His instruments? His speakers? whose $ is he using?</p><p>Aspies tend to take things literally, so sit him down when he's calm, and tell him you are changing the house rules right now. Say it in a nice tone of voice. Turn off the circuit breaker if you need quiet time to talk to him. (And give him warning that you are going to talk to him quietly--he's probably horrid with-transitions.)</p><p>Don't expect an overnight miracle. But he can change.</p><p>There are lots of books out there on Asperbergers. Have you read any of them? They have really helped me, even though my son is supposedly not an Aspie.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 187475, member: 3419"] Hi Praeda, welcome. gosh, your son sounds like mine. Except that he sometimes hugs me--really tightly--and other times stiffens up. And he generally makes good eye contact. I hear you. I would suggest that you lower your expectations of having him hug you. I mean, completely wipe it off the slate, at least for the time being. You're expecting a dog to act like a cat. Really. You need to establish rules and boundaries. You're thinking he won't listen, but he will, because you have bargaining chips--for ex., where does he get his music? His instruments? His speakers? whose $ is he using? Aspies tend to take things literally, so sit him down when he's calm, and tell him you are changing the house rules right now. Say it in a nice tone of voice. Turn off the circuit breaker if you need quiet time to talk to him. (And give him warning that you are going to talk to him quietly--he's probably horrid with-transitions.) Don't expect an overnight miracle. But he can change. There are lots of books out there on Asperbergers. Have you read any of them? They have really helped me, even though my son is supposedly not an Aspie. [/QUOTE]
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