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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 217548" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>You do know what you can exspect and the huge dread is the face of the tornatdo on its way to your door just when you have a safe space.</p><p>I like the idea of brainstorming when a goal is identified. </p><p></p><p>Getting out of the way is a means to control what happens to you. Find a volunteer to act as your security guard. Someone who will hoover outside or be involved with your family over the days from his out day to after Christmas who will escort the man off the property and summons the police. An adult, someone with a cool and stronge well mannered aproach. Make a point to have the school your childen go to know not to release your children to their father. Have a plan where the children are being driven and escorted so that the father is not "assuming" that he can do as he feels.</p><p>Take 100% of the responcibliity for your children being seperate from the blow back and emotional garbage that has no place being dumped on them. </p><p>Conceeding space is a terrific tool for evading the hothead. Where they go do not go. </p><p>Trade your car with someone else so that he is not "seeing" you because he does not recognise the car.</p><p>Do not answer just because he calls or because he is at the door.</p><p>Let your lawyer handle any communication and tell your lawyer that you will be available in the new year by date and time so that any contact is by appointment only.</p><p>,through your attorney.</p><p>Make the best of this time with your children and get the help for them they need to feel happy.</p><p>Until you know otherwise assume your the custodial parent, because you are.</p><p>Whose children are you as an adult going to have in an emotionaly ttortuous scene? </p><p>Talk to others alot and make a list so that you are not "helpless and hopeless" and "do not know what to do"...Keep your kids safe body mind spirit</p><p> Live your life.</p><p> Think of yourself as aquest in your parents home. have the x arrange time sometime in the new year but do not talk to him at all but to refer ONCE to your attorney. Let your security person make that referral.</p><p></p><p>Or are you really getting ready to be all caught up in the drama? GEt the bondaries up and clear in everyones mind. YOurs first. </p><p></p><p>This first is the place where you are not attained by any means that you choose not to be.</p><p>What alot of women today do not do that women did befor is just ignor men. They are spending all day everyday prowling around looking to meet women and it does not one bit of haarm to just not respond. Yes you are getting a divorse and yes he has childen and to safely do those relationships you, MOM make the boundaries firm as steele.</p><p>Legally he has tools. Let HIM do his part. And answer when NO is the answer.</p><p>You do not have to talk to the man. You do not have to "let" him talk to your children. What you will "have to" do is whatever is in the court ordered material that you and your attorney have not crafted.</p><p>Screen the calls coming into your home. Make a pact and plan with your parents.</p><p>REmember the man can NOT staulk you either.</p><p>He is in the tight spot. NOt you. You are taking care of your family. </p><p>Whatever you do not let him have the edge. That is inapropriate and you aare not his target. IF he has to talk to you you have a prearranged appointment with your attorney, or mediaation, or a conseling session. </p><p>Get really stronge right now. Is my advise.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 217548, member: 6271"] You do know what you can exspect and the huge dread is the face of the tornatdo on its way to your door just when you have a safe space. I like the idea of brainstorming when a goal is identified. Getting out of the way is a means to control what happens to you. Find a volunteer to act as your security guard. Someone who will hoover outside or be involved with your family over the days from his out day to after Christmas who will escort the man off the property and summons the police. An adult, someone with a cool and stronge well mannered aproach. Make a point to have the school your childen go to know not to release your children to their father. Have a plan where the children are being driven and escorted so that the father is not "assuming" that he can do as he feels. Take 100% of the responcibliity for your children being seperate from the blow back and emotional garbage that has no place being dumped on them. Conceeding space is a terrific tool for evading the hothead. Where they go do not go. Trade your car with someone else so that he is not "seeing" you because he does not recognise the car. Do not answer just because he calls or because he is at the door. Let your lawyer handle any communication and tell your lawyer that you will be available in the new year by date and time so that any contact is by appointment only. ,through your attorney. Make the best of this time with your children and get the help for them they need to feel happy. Until you know otherwise assume your the custodial parent, because you are. Whose children are you as an adult going to have in an emotionaly ttortuous scene? Talk to others alot and make a list so that you are not "helpless and hopeless" and "do not know what to do"...Keep your kids safe body mind spirit Live your life. Think of yourself as aquest in your parents home. have the x arrange time sometime in the new year but do not talk to him at all but to refer ONCE to your attorney. Let your security person make that referral. Or are you really getting ready to be all caught up in the drama? GEt the bondaries up and clear in everyones mind. YOurs first. This first is the place where you are not attained by any means that you choose not to be. What alot of women today do not do that women did befor is just ignor men. They are spending all day everyday prowling around looking to meet women and it does not one bit of haarm to just not respond. Yes you are getting a divorse and yes he has childen and to safely do those relationships you, MOM make the boundaries firm as steele. Legally he has tools. Let HIM do his part. And answer when NO is the answer. You do not have to talk to the man. You do not have to "let" him talk to your children. What you will "have to" do is whatever is in the court ordered material that you and your attorney have not crafted. Screen the calls coming into your home. Make a pact and plan with your parents. REmember the man can NOT staulk you either. He is in the tight spot. NOt you. You are taking care of your family. Whatever you do not let him have the edge. That is inapropriate and you aare not his target. IF he has to talk to you you have a prearranged appointment with your attorney, or mediaation, or a conseling session. Get really stronge right now. Is my advise. [/QUOTE]
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