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Well I Knew It Would Happen Sooner Or Later....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 666805" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>In Missouri, at least, 50/50 is the norm unless somehow the father or mother passes on custody and the person who makes the most pays child support. DCFS is not involved. There can be a Guardian Ad Litem and my grandson had one, but she mostly did studies on both parents and a psychologist to assess the relationship of both parents with the child. He had a lot of clout. In the end, since he said both parents love t he child the 50/50 custody split was upheld, but mostly in most states kids stay with one parent for either Monday and Tues (one parent which switches to Wed. and Thurs. for the other parent) and both takes turns with a five day weekend. My son has this split. The other split is week on/week off. I never heard of kids not being allowed overnight for more than one night, not in any state.</p><p></p><p>However...if one parent has been absent for years, the other parent will get sole custody because of status quo seen as being best for the child, but the other parent will still have to cough up child support. The system is not nice to absent parents.</p><p></p><p>We found the court system the best. But then my son's ex likes to make trouble and only the courts can keep her in line. She won't listen to non-court agreements.</p><p></p><p>I don't think you have much to worry about since father has been so absent for so long. You can probably do what you want for your kid and he will never take you to court. If he does, he will lose big.</p><p></p><p>If you were unmarried, often a DNA test is required in court, and the person who needs the test has to pay for it.</p><p></p><p>My son's ex sued for her to pay for her attorney and he counter sued.That rarely happens. They both paid for t heir own attorneys. That is the norm, again in most states I BELIEVE.</p><p></p><p>All in all, would be very costly for an unemployed man, no matter how much SSDI he gets, to afford a court battle. I forgot the lawyer. Without one, you may as well give up and they're not cheap. Never go to court for custody without a family law attorney, even though they charge a lot. Your kid is worth it.</p><p></p><p>I was very surprised myself, but I feel the court had my grandson's best interests in mind. The courts do not like big changes in the child's life, and your ex would end up with peanuts, if that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 666805, member: 1550"] In Missouri, at least, 50/50 is the norm unless somehow the father or mother passes on custody and the person who makes the most pays child support. DCFS is not involved. There can be a Guardian Ad Litem and my grandson had one, but she mostly did studies on both parents and a psychologist to assess the relationship of both parents with the child. He had a lot of clout. In the end, since he said both parents love t he child the 50/50 custody split was upheld, but mostly in most states kids stay with one parent for either Monday and Tues (one parent which switches to Wed. and Thurs. for the other parent) and both takes turns with a five day weekend. My son has this split. The other split is week on/week off. I never heard of kids not being allowed overnight for more than one night, not in any state. However...if one parent has been absent for years, the other parent will get sole custody because of status quo seen as being best for the child, but the other parent will still have to cough up child support. The system is not nice to absent parents. We found the court system the best. But then my son's ex likes to make trouble and only the courts can keep her in line. She won't listen to non-court agreements. I don't think you have much to worry about since father has been so absent for so long. You can probably do what you want for your kid and he will never take you to court. If he does, he will lose big. If you were unmarried, often a DNA test is required in court, and the person who needs the test has to pay for it. My son's ex sued for her to pay for her attorney and he counter sued.That rarely happens. They both paid for t heir own attorneys. That is the norm, again in most states I BELIEVE. All in all, would be very costly for an unemployed man, no matter how much SSDI he gets, to afford a court battle. I forgot the lawyer. Without one, you may as well give up and they're not cheap. Never go to court for custody without a family law attorney, even though they charge a lot. Your kid is worth it. I was very surprised myself, but I feel the court had my grandson's best interests in mind. The courts do not like big changes in the child's life, and your ex would end up with peanuts, if that. [/QUOTE]
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