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Well now a different approach....
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<blockquote data-quote="mrscatinthehat" data-source="post: 97928" data-attributes="member: 2063"><p>We are going to have husband tell difficult child 2 that until he steps up to the plate we are not going to be the ones doing all the work. Thus we are not going to go to sessions until he does his part. The therapist coordinated this. She explained to difficult child 2 that it isn't doing any good having us drive to his placement all the time and him not doing anything for himself.</p><p></p><p>So detachment is the name of the game. The ball is in his court. We will continue to call (if he isn't having a behavior problem we will talk). He can call if he is medication compliant, stays in school and takes a shower (which this list is very difficult for him some how). But except for the staffings we are not going out of our way until he steps up a bit. So husband has to call difficult child 2 on Friday to tell him we won't be in session on Monday. </p><p></p><p>husband has to do this as he is the one that difficult child 2 thinks will bail him out of any situation. Even though husband stands firm he hasn't always so it is his to handle.</p><p></p><p>Nothing else works so this is the route therapist and us came up with. </p><p></p><p>So we will see how it goes. That and we have to talk to gfg1s place to see if they are ready to facilitate a call between the two of them. This is something I dread. They have not spoken since Thanksgiving of 2005. So it will have to be monitored completely. </p><p></p><p>So we will see how long we go this route. This is going to be hard because it is hard to convince the mommy brain that completely backing off is the right thing to do.</p><p></p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mrscatinthehat, post: 97928, member: 2063"] We are going to have husband tell difficult child 2 that until he steps up to the plate we are not going to be the ones doing all the work. Thus we are not going to go to sessions until he does his part. The therapist coordinated this. She explained to difficult child 2 that it isn't doing any good having us drive to his placement all the time and him not doing anything for himself. So detachment is the name of the game. The ball is in his court. We will continue to call (if he isn't having a behavior problem we will talk). He can call if he is medication compliant, stays in school and takes a shower (which this list is very difficult for him some how). But except for the staffings we are not going out of our way until he steps up a bit. So husband has to call difficult child 2 on Friday to tell him we won't be in session on Monday. husband has to do this as he is the one that difficult child 2 thinks will bail him out of any situation. Even though husband stands firm he hasn't always so it is his to handle. Nothing else works so this is the route therapist and us came up with. So we will see how it goes. That and we have to talk to gfg1s place to see if they are ready to facilitate a call between the two of them. This is something I dread. They have not spoken since Thanksgiving of 2005. So it will have to be monitored completely. So we will see how long we go this route. This is going to be hard because it is hard to convince the mommy brain that completely backing off is the right thing to do. Beth [/QUOTE]
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