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Well this day hoovered with maximum Bissell force
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 426538"><p>I'm so sorry. in my humble opinion, there is a better way....</p><p>You KNOW you deserve better than this x100!</p><p>Even though he is ill, I wouldn't engage/tolerate this one bit.</p><p>No doubt you have made medical services available to him. As long as this is available to him, you can walk away and should. </p><p>I agree, name calling is out of line...BIG TIME. Sickness or not, it should not be tolerated. He is smart enough to play you or at least attempt to play you. He should be smart enough to reach out and get the help he needs. That means medication, therapy and personal effort. Period.</p><p>Is there someone out there who he is hesitant to play games with? YOu might ask this person to call him a few days before a holiday to ask him to make sure he is appropriate for the holiday. And if he is not apppropriate, so be it. That is his sad choice. It hurts like heck. You did not cause this, can't fix it, etc.</p><p>AGain, I'm not saying this is easy. On the contrary...I think it is profoundly difficult and unfair. But, I also don't think you have a choice. Shake this off and move forward. If it's not set up already and if appropriate, you might make sure your difficult child has access to a doctor and if you can pay for these services, figure out a way to pay for it if he goes. (Can't force him to go, and don't worry about it if he doesn't go).</p><p>Read everything you can get your hands on re: boundaries and detachment. I would go into this mode at warp speed. Don't look back. Don't think too much. Don't get your emotions into this. Look at it as a medical problem. Period. You deserve better...you take better.</p><p>Also...let super good friends know this is often a difficult day for you and spend time with them and others who can and are willing to show their love.</p><p>Don't give up hope that you can be happy even with this difficulty in the background.</p><p>I know you know this drill....it still hurts at times. But detachment REALLY is freeing.</p><p>Happy Mother's Day!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 426538"] I'm so sorry. in my humble opinion, there is a better way.... You KNOW you deserve better than this x100! Even though he is ill, I wouldn't engage/tolerate this one bit. No doubt you have made medical services available to him. As long as this is available to him, you can walk away and should. I agree, name calling is out of line...BIG TIME. Sickness or not, it should not be tolerated. He is smart enough to play you or at least attempt to play you. He should be smart enough to reach out and get the help he needs. That means medication, therapy and personal effort. Period. Is there someone out there who he is hesitant to play games with? YOu might ask this person to call him a few days before a holiday to ask him to make sure he is appropriate for the holiday. And if he is not apppropriate, so be it. That is his sad choice. It hurts like heck. You did not cause this, can't fix it, etc. AGain, I'm not saying this is easy. On the contrary...I think it is profoundly difficult and unfair. But, I also don't think you have a choice. Shake this off and move forward. If it's not set up already and if appropriate, you might make sure your difficult child has access to a doctor and if you can pay for these services, figure out a way to pay for it if he goes. (Can't force him to go, and don't worry about it if he doesn't go). Read everything you can get your hands on re: boundaries and detachment. I would go into this mode at warp speed. Don't look back. Don't think too much. Don't get your emotions into this. Look at it as a medical problem. Period. You deserve better...you take better. Also...let super good friends know this is often a difficult day for you and spend time with them and others who can and are willing to show their love. Don't give up hope that you can be happy even with this difficulty in the background. I know you know this drill....it still hurts at times. But detachment REALLY is freeing. Happy Mother's Day! [/QUOTE]
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Well this day hoovered with maximum Bissell force
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