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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 377913" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I'm sorry Beth. Who knows what he has going thru his mind- the best benefit of the doubt I can give him is that he's going thru his own emotional roller-coaster ride right now. Have you talked to a therapist to get some of this off your chest before you become a time bomb? (Not that you'd go off on the kids- just that it would make anyone a time bomb, I would think.) I'm sure the kids are having their own adjustments and just want everything to become "a perfect world" so the stress from all of it must be completely overwhelming for you. Is he taking the kids a couple of days here and there to give them time together...and give you time alone? If not, I think I'd start working on that goal immediately- he hasn't caused you reason to be concerned about him being with the kids, has he? As long as he hasn't, I think I'd be really focusing on the concept that just because you two might not stay together, he's still responsible for these kids, too, and needs to be pulling 50% of the weight- whether that's dr appts, meetings at sd, taking them shopping for school supplies, whatever. You cannot do it all and don't let him think he can walk away and shrug all this responsibility. Even if he's paying CS, there's more to being a parent than that, as you know. Let him spend his weekend off work with all the kids and you not there a couple of times and see if he's not willing to talk after that.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 377913, member: 3699"] I'm sorry Beth. Who knows what he has going thru his mind- the best benefit of the doubt I can give him is that he's going thru his own emotional roller-coaster ride right now. Have you talked to a therapist to get some of this off your chest before you become a time bomb? (Not that you'd go off on the kids- just that it would make anyone a time bomb, I would think.) I'm sure the kids are having their own adjustments and just want everything to become "a perfect world" so the stress from all of it must be completely overwhelming for you. Is he taking the kids a couple of days here and there to give them time together...and give you time alone? If not, I think I'd start working on that goal immediately- he hasn't caused you reason to be concerned about him being with the kids, has he? As long as he hasn't, I think I'd be really focusing on the concept that just because you two might not stay together, he's still responsible for these kids, too, and needs to be pulling 50% of the weight- whether that's dr appts, meetings at sd, taking them shopping for school supplies, whatever. You cannot do it all and don't let him think he can walk away and shrug all this responsibility. Even if he's paying CS, there's more to being a parent than that, as you know. Let him spend his weekend off work with all the kids and you not there a couple of times and see if he's not willing to talk after that..... [/QUOTE]
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