Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MommaK, Jul 28, 2016.

  1. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    For the 1st time since my daughter started her therapy program she tested positive for weed. Honestly, I have been expecting it. She is about to start 9th grade and it's all the kids her age are talking about. She will be tested weekly until she tests negative and can't be discharged from the program until she has several negative tests. I informed her real quick that drug use won't be tolerated in our home, and if she has another positive test as long as she lives in our home and we are responsible for her, I will personally march her butt to the youth court and file papers for an incorrigible teen and put her on probation. I get that it's weed, but I don't want it or someone that uses it in my home. I have more than just her to think about. It's illegal where we live and besides that even if it was legal she is under age. She tried to say it was from being around someone else smoking it, but I don't believe it. I hate to have to be a b*****, but I have to have boundaries and know my home is safe for my 10 year old son as well. I will not sacrifice his safety or anything else for her stupid decisions.
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  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry. I wouldn't allow it in my home either.
  3. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    She didn't test positive from breathing. She's so young...absolutely stand your ground.
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I am 100% with you.
  5. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    My teen tried to explain a positive test...because she was with several people who were smoking...but she wasn't smoking. Yea right. I don't have to step in it to know BS when I hear it.

    Hang in there!

  6. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    My son started with weed at that age and it was a gateway drug - see my signature.

    Be firm. We did everything and it still got out of control unfortunately.
  7. Praecepta

    Praecepta Active Member

    Good for you! Might also tell her lying will not be tolerated either!

    Dumb question: Sounds like she KNEW she was going to be tested? (If that is the case, really brilliant to then smoke it.)

    Might want to tell the parents of her friends she tested positive - let them know how their kids can be tested too.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My daughter started at 12 and it escalated from there. Stand your ground.
  9. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    Yes, she knew she would be tested. She is in a partial in patient program and they randomly test everyone in the program pretty often.

    The subject of weed has been a common recurring theme in conversation lately. I honestly expected her to try it at some point. I actually suspected it as soon as I noticed it coming up more in conversation just had no proof until now. This child does not do anything that she doesn't somehow get caught at. Every stupid stunt she has ever pulled she managed to get herself caught. You would think she would have learned by now that every time she does something she shouldn't she is caught and to just quit doing stupid crap that will get her in trouble. Nope, it's a "oh, I got busted doing _______. I won't be doing _______ again. " It's never "oh I got busted doing something I shouldn't. I won't do what I shouldn't any more." Smh...

    4 more years until she graduates high school. It terrifies me, but at the same time it feels like a huge wait will lift once she is 18 and out of high school. At that point she is responsible for herself. Until then we are responsible for her and I be danged if her dumb choices are going to hurt our entire family.
  10. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    My son always got caught to. However he NEVER tried to cover his tracks either. It was one thing after another. Never.ending.

    Hang on because you may have a rough ride. I pray yours is nothing like ours has been. I wouldn't wish that on anyone!
  11. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    She doesn't always try to cover her tracks. She has said before punishment doesn't faze her, but us being disappointed in her hurts her more than any punishment ever could. She has point blank said she would rather me get mad and yell and punish her than go silent and be disappointed. So that's what I show her now. I quit getting mad and let her see the hurt and disappointment I feel. However, I will put my foot down when it's a must and this is one of those musts. She knows I'm 100% serious about placing her on probation thru the youth courts.