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Went to therapist appointment
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 284407" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think husband is lying to you, or, rather, misinterpreting what todoc said. I don't believe todoc ever said, "I don't think difficult child is doing all that stuff." But I think husband thinks he did say it. </p><p></p><p>I also think therapist has helped you as much as he can. He has told you to stay safe. That has to be #1. It's true that punishing difficult child won't change his behavior. He's not going to care nor is he able or interested in changing in my opinion. He doesn't have a conscience and is wily and manipulative and a great liar (all classic signs of a budding psychopath--never trust him). In fact, I think that if you punish him he will retaliate in dangerous ways. I'm surprised therapist didn't tell you to get the boy into outside placement, but maybe he did at another time and knows that husband is too much in denial to do it. Now I have another concern.</p><p></p><p>This boy acted out sexually. Please don't send him to overnight camp FOR THREE WEEKS. Good heavens, the best that could come of that is that screws up the first day and is sent home early. Think about it. So many kids are molested at camp--it isn't as well supervised as you think. My daughter went to YMCA overnight camp and their counselors are teenagers. I would never let this boy in that kind of proximity to other kids, and certianly he has access to younger kids...it just wouldn't happen if it were me.</p><p></p><p>I don't believe there is much you can do for this boy in your home. Perhaps he can be helped in a tightly supervised, highly therapeutic setting. I DOUBT IT, but it's his only chance. Having lived myself with a psychopathic kid, you really can not do anything with a child who only pretends to have a conscience and your difficult child doesn't even try to hide the fact that he doesn't have one. Instead, he lies and places it on your other kids.</p><p></p><p>I wish you good luck. Trust me...all of you will need it with this chld in the house and your hub in some sort of fairly land. He is as sick as his son. (((Hugs))) I feel for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 284407, member: 1550"] I think husband is lying to you, or, rather, misinterpreting what todoc said. I don't believe todoc ever said, "I don't think difficult child is doing all that stuff." But I think husband thinks he did say it. I also think therapist has helped you as much as he can. He has told you to stay safe. That has to be #1. It's true that punishing difficult child won't change his behavior. He's not going to care nor is he able or interested in changing in my opinion. He doesn't have a conscience and is wily and manipulative and a great liar (all classic signs of a budding psychopath--never trust him). In fact, I think that if you punish him he will retaliate in dangerous ways. I'm surprised therapist didn't tell you to get the boy into outside placement, but maybe he did at another time and knows that husband is too much in denial to do it. Now I have another concern. This boy acted out sexually. Please don't send him to overnight camp FOR THREE WEEKS. Good heavens, the best that could come of that is that screws up the first day and is sent home early. Think about it. So many kids are molested at camp--it isn't as well supervised as you think. My daughter went to YMCA overnight camp and their counselors are teenagers. I would never let this boy in that kind of proximity to other kids, and certianly he has access to younger kids...it just wouldn't happen if it were me. I don't believe there is much you can do for this boy in your home. Perhaps he can be helped in a tightly supervised, highly therapeutic setting. I DOUBT IT, but it's his only chance. Having lived myself with a psychopathic kid, you really can not do anything with a child who only pretends to have a conscience and your difficult child doesn't even try to hide the fact that he doesn't have one. Instead, he lies and places it on your other kids. I wish you good luck. Trust me...all of you will need it with this chld in the house and your hub in some sort of fairly land. He is as sick as his son. (((Hugs))) I feel for you. [/QUOTE]
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