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Went to therapist appointment
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 284478" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If he touched his sister inappropriately even once, and I think it was more, then he sexually abused her. I think husband has defended him for so long that perhaps you are starting to think you're seeing him too harshly--that you are the bad guy.</p><p></p><p>Abused kids (your stepdaughter) are always told they'd better not tell anyone about the abuse heaped on them. This is a very sick situation. The poor child. Nobody is helping her. Nobody is calling CPS on her behalf. They are allowing this bully brother to do what he wants to her and she isn't allowed to complain about it to her teachers or a counselor or to anyone who may see that difficult child is an abuser and husband is going along with it.</p><p></p><p>When we called CPS about our son who abused our two younger kids, they took him, understanding that he couldn't come back. Funding wasn't an issue. He was just gone. We had to pay a certain amount of "child support" to the system each month until he was a ward of the state, which we initiated. CPS would take this child out of the house because he is more than just disturbed--he's dangerous to all of you, especially another child much younger than him, and he's a criminal. But you have to tell somebody in authority. If you don't, to be honest, you are allowing him to abuse his sister too. You are becoming part of the problem. The only way you can save her is to tattle on the two boys--one who is edging toward evil and the other who is enabling his horrendous behavior and may be liable when it call comes out. And it will all come out. Daughter isn't going to stay a compliant eight year old. She'll tell somebody and could name you as somebody who didn't help her. </p><p></p><p>I know what I'd do if I was you--call CPS and leave. It is the only way to help the little girl. She should not be in that environment. And somebody else said that your own boys may one day be tabbed with abuse allegations. Absolutely true. These kids who have no consciences always point to other people and then the person who is named is in trouble. Prove the difficult child, who you all protected, is the liar. You won't be able to do it. </p><p></p><p>This is a mess. I'd take your kids, for everyone's sake, leave and call CPS and maybe talk to the judge so that the girl can get alternative placement. I'm very anti-foster care, but this child needs to get out of the house. She is being abused in many many ways by both her father and her brother. I'm kind of speechless that staying is even a possibility on your part, but I know it's hard to leave--and he's been gaslighting you for so long that I feel your guilt through your posts.</p><p></p><p>Get out. And call CPS for the sake of that step-daughter. Hate to hang this on you, but if you don't rat out the boys, she will continue to be abused until she is much older and far more damaged. NOBODY is doing anything to help her. Her mother isn't. Her father is telling her to hush it up. Her brother is probably sexually abusing her but say he isn't. He is tormenting her in other ways too. And nobody will tell on him and get her help. The only way to get her help is to call CPS. I hate CPS. I only tell people to call them when it's a dire situation. It is. NOBODY CARES ABOUT THIS GIRL. NOBODY DOES ANYTHING TO HELP HER. And up until now, that includes you. Giving her sympathy or blunting some of difficult child's attacks isn't helping her in the long run. You need to do more or you are part of the problem. I like to read true crime. Not sure why, but that's another forum. Whenever I read it, abused kids are always baffled that their mothers stand by and wring their hands, but never report the husband (or abuser). It doesn't help her that you feel badly for her. You have to get her help.</p><p></p><p>I hope you make the right decision and help this child by exposing the family dynamics to somebody who will step in and do something. therapist isn't going to do it. I know it's hard, but it's up to you to save this little girl--do it. Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 284478, member: 1550"] If he touched his sister inappropriately even once, and I think it was more, then he sexually abused her. I think husband has defended him for so long that perhaps you are starting to think you're seeing him too harshly--that you are the bad guy. Abused kids (your stepdaughter) are always told they'd better not tell anyone about the abuse heaped on them. This is a very sick situation. The poor child. Nobody is helping her. Nobody is calling CPS on her behalf. They are allowing this bully brother to do what he wants to her and she isn't allowed to complain about it to her teachers or a counselor or to anyone who may see that difficult child is an abuser and husband is going along with it. When we called CPS about our son who abused our two younger kids, they took him, understanding that he couldn't come back. Funding wasn't an issue. He was just gone. We had to pay a certain amount of "child support" to the system each month until he was a ward of the state, which we initiated. CPS would take this child out of the house because he is more than just disturbed--he's dangerous to all of you, especially another child much younger than him, and he's a criminal. But you have to tell somebody in authority. If you don't, to be honest, you are allowing him to abuse his sister too. You are becoming part of the problem. The only way you can save her is to tattle on the two boys--one who is edging toward evil and the other who is enabling his horrendous behavior and may be liable when it call comes out. And it will all come out. Daughter isn't going to stay a compliant eight year old. She'll tell somebody and could name you as somebody who didn't help her. I know what I'd do if I was you--call CPS and leave. It is the only way to help the little girl. She should not be in that environment. And somebody else said that your own boys may one day be tabbed with abuse allegations. Absolutely true. These kids who have no consciences always point to other people and then the person who is named is in trouble. Prove the difficult child, who you all protected, is the liar. You won't be able to do it. This is a mess. I'd take your kids, for everyone's sake, leave and call CPS and maybe talk to the judge so that the girl can get alternative placement. I'm very anti-foster care, but this child needs to get out of the house. She is being abused in many many ways by both her father and her brother. I'm kind of speechless that staying is even a possibility on your part, but I know it's hard to leave--and he's been gaslighting you for so long that I feel your guilt through your posts. Get out. And call CPS for the sake of that step-daughter. Hate to hang this on you, but if you don't rat out the boys, she will continue to be abused until she is much older and far more damaged. NOBODY is doing anything to help her. Her mother isn't. Her father is telling her to hush it up. Her brother is probably sexually abusing her but say he isn't. He is tormenting her in other ways too. And nobody will tell on him and get her help. The only way to get her help is to call CPS. I hate CPS. I only tell people to call them when it's a dire situation. It is. NOBODY CARES ABOUT THIS GIRL. NOBODY DOES ANYTHING TO HELP HER. And up until now, that includes you. Giving her sympathy or blunting some of difficult child's attacks isn't helping her in the long run. You need to do more or you are part of the problem. I like to read true crime. Not sure why, but that's another forum. Whenever I read it, abused kids are always baffled that their mothers stand by and wring their hands, but never report the husband (or abuser). It doesn't help her that you feel badly for her. You have to get her help. I hope you make the right decision and help this child by exposing the family dynamics to somebody who will step in and do something. therapist isn't going to do it. I know it's hard, but it's up to you to save this little girl--do it. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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