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What are your triggers?
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 455660" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #800080">I suppose in regards to difficult child, hearing other parents brag about their child's successes in school or how they won scholarships to colleges, or have been at the same job since they were 15, etc., those kinds of things...yeah, those can trigger me into feeling regrets about difficult child and my role in her upbringing and maybe if I had done this or that differently, she could have<u> ....</u></span><u><span style="color: #0000cd"></span></u></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><u><span style="color: #0000cd"></span></u></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000cd">Lately I've been triggering all over the place in regards to mother in law looking down her nose at me and daughters (and then being suspcious that H is doing the same). This just brings back childhood feelings of never being quite 'good enough' for some people. Sometimes I still get these shocking memories that make me think our family was extremely dysfunctional and a little cracker trasherish.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000cd"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000cd"></span><span style="color: #008080">It is what it is. I try not to focus on that **** and instead remain in the <span style="font-size: 15px"><u><em><strong>present</strong></em></u></span>. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #800080">I remember that my difficult child is not on drugs or an alcoholic, has a clean license and isn't in jail, she's actually a joy to be around most of the time, and she has a nice boyfriend. I wish she'd get a job and keep it for more than a couple of months at a time, but I try not to let that trigger my own feelings or disappointment (in me as a parent). </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #800080"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #008080">And I remember that I worked (still do!) really hard at getting where I am today - I've come a long way in the past 30 years! I'm a strong person and I've got a lot of therapy under my belt to prove that I can accomplish anything, no matter where I came from. And my family may have been dysfunctional growing up, but there was a lot of love, laughter and good times in our family home. </span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 455660, member: 2211"] [SIZE=2][COLOR=#800080]I suppose in regards to difficult child, hearing other parents brag about their child's successes in school or how they won scholarships to colleges, or have been at the same job since they were 15, etc., those kinds of things...yeah, those can trigger me into feeling regrets about difficult child and my role in her upbringing and maybe if I had done this or that differently, she could have[U] ....[/U][/COLOR][U][COLOR=#0000cd] [/COLOR][/U] [COLOR=#0000cd]Lately I've been triggering all over the place in regards to mother in law looking down her nose at me and daughters (and then being suspcious that H is doing the same). This just brings back childhood feelings of never being quite 'good enough' for some people. Sometimes I still get these shocking memories that make me think our family was extremely dysfunctional and a little cracker trasherish. [/COLOR][COLOR=#008080]It is what it is. I try not to focus on that **** and instead remain in the [SIZE=4][U][I][B]present[/B][/I][/U][/SIZE]. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#800080]I remember that my difficult child is not on drugs or an alcoholic, has a clean license and isn't in jail, she's actually a joy to be around most of the time, and she has a nice boyfriend. I wish she'd get a job and keep it for more than a couple of months at a time, but I try not to let that trigger my own feelings or disappointment (in me as a parent). [/COLOR] [COLOR=#008080]And I remember that I worked (still do!) really hard at getting where I am today - I've come a long way in the past 30 years! I'm a strong person and I've got a lot of therapy under my belt to prove that I can accomplish anything, no matter where I came from. And my family may have been dysfunctional growing up, but there was a lot of love, laughter and good times in our family home. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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