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What can you do about internet and cell phone harassment?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 200918" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Go for it. She gave you permission. And frankly, even if she didn't, the state she was in should justify your taking action.</p><p></p><p>Pulling her out wouldn't stop the problems, if the bullies live in the area. A correspondence classmate of difficult child 3's was transferred to correspondence because of problems exactly like this that he was getting, although in his case they were following it up by physically assaulting him. With the transfer the physical assaults stopped but the text messages continued. In their case the school did nothing because one of the girls (yes, girls in this case too) was the child of a school board member and they wouldn't accept that it was their daughter, even when faced with the phone records and copies of the text messages.</p><p></p><p>What was happening in that case - at first the boy didn't want his mother to interfere. But tis only made the bullies bolder. When the mother went to the school to complain, the bullies did get upset about it and use it as an "excuse" to try to up the ante, but eventually with the boy's mother upping the ante by getting the police involved (as you should, you did the right thing there) a lot of the bullies stopped. Some of the parents got the message and curbed their kids, some of the kids decided they'd gone too far. Those bullies remaining kept it up, however.</p><p></p><p>The boy is safe because he stays home and stays indoors. His sister was getting persecuted, last time I spoke to them, but the mother was continuing the fight. None of it was as bad as it had first been, however.</p><p></p><p>Each event has to be reported, even if it's apparently trivial. The police don't have to go out to see them every time but they do need evidence of each incident so they can keep track of the problem.</p><p></p><p>If this happens and nobody makes a complaint, the kids never get the message that this is a crime. They continue to behave as if it's all in fun, it's long-distance, no blows are exchanged so therefore it's not bullying. If they don't know and aren't stopped, they never learn.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes they never learn anyway.</p><p></p><p>But if you do nothing, it also sends a message not only to the bully that this is acceptable, but it sends a message to your daughter that she deserves this, that she is going to have to get used to abuse because tat is what life has in store for her. By not accepting this but taking action, you show your daughter that she deserves to feel safe, she has power and can fight back appropriately, and also shows her that she is worth protecting and worth fighting for. Also, as she watches you handle this appropriately she learns the skills for herself. She will need to know how to manage these sort of problems later in her life (when she is a mother, maybe) and you will have shown her the way.</p><p></p><p>Also, seeing you step up and take action reduces her stress, in the same way that a rat in a cage getting repeated electric shocks becomes less stressed if it has something to do, such as pressing a lever. And maybe if you can help her stress reduce even a little bit, she will feel strong enough to handle things better on her level as well.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 200918, member: 1991"] Go for it. She gave you permission. And frankly, even if she didn't, the state she was in should justify your taking action. Pulling her out wouldn't stop the problems, if the bullies live in the area. A correspondence classmate of difficult child 3's was transferred to correspondence because of problems exactly like this that he was getting, although in his case they were following it up by physically assaulting him. With the transfer the physical assaults stopped but the text messages continued. In their case the school did nothing because one of the girls (yes, girls in this case too) was the child of a school board member and they wouldn't accept that it was their daughter, even when faced with the phone records and copies of the text messages. What was happening in that case - at first the boy didn't want his mother to interfere. But tis only made the bullies bolder. When the mother went to the school to complain, the bullies did get upset about it and use it as an "excuse" to try to up the ante, but eventually with the boy's mother upping the ante by getting the police involved (as you should, you did the right thing there) a lot of the bullies stopped. Some of the parents got the message and curbed their kids, some of the kids decided they'd gone too far. Those bullies remaining kept it up, however. The boy is safe because he stays home and stays indoors. His sister was getting persecuted, last time I spoke to them, but the mother was continuing the fight. None of it was as bad as it had first been, however. Each event has to be reported, even if it's apparently trivial. The police don't have to go out to see them every time but they do need evidence of each incident so they can keep track of the problem. If this happens and nobody makes a complaint, the kids never get the message that this is a crime. They continue to behave as if it's all in fun, it's long-distance, no blows are exchanged so therefore it's not bullying. If they don't know and aren't stopped, they never learn. Sometimes they never learn anyway. But if you do nothing, it also sends a message not only to the bully that this is acceptable, but it sends a message to your daughter that she deserves this, that she is going to have to get used to abuse because tat is what life has in store for her. By not accepting this but taking action, you show your daughter that she deserves to feel safe, she has power and can fight back appropriately, and also shows her that she is worth protecting and worth fighting for. Also, as she watches you handle this appropriately she learns the skills for herself. She will need to know how to manage these sort of problems later in her life (when she is a mother, maybe) and you will have shown her the way. Also, seeing you step up and take action reduces her stress, in the same way that a rat in a cage getting repeated electric shocks becomes less stressed if it has something to do, such as pressing a lever. And maybe if you can help her stress reduce even a little bit, she will feel strong enough to handle things better on her level as well. Marg [/QUOTE]
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