Today B and I went to the CFT meeting to organize treatment for my boys. I think B finally realizes how hard it is for me to watch Peanuts behavior. Peanuts case manager has possibly found a group home for him. Should have room for him in a couple days. They said he needs to go because they see him as a risk to himself as well as others. His counselor felt he might try to end his life as he did in June. He is constantly hurting the other kids in the house and destroys everything in sight when angry.I feel I have no option in this matter after they have expressed their concern for the families safety. Peanut holds a very special place in my heart and I am devastated thinking of him not being with me. The group home is in Sierre Vista, on the other side of Tucson. I think its a good 2 hour drive one way. At first I will not be allowed contact with him. The staff enrolls him in school and takes him to his appointments. I will be allowed at some point to check him out for the weekend. I cant bring the other kids to visit him due to other childrens privacy at the group home. I have to obey their rules to. I cant take Peanut out of the group home if I feel he should come home. There is a withdrawl process that takes time. Peanut cant come home until his goals that the counselor,case manager and GH staff set up. Its kinda like going to court. All parties involved in his care review his progress and my reasons why I want him home. I know I shouldnt feel this bad but I do. I have been through enough crud through the years and looking at photos of myself you can see I am miserable. Parenting stinks. I know I signed up for the 24/7 for 18 +yrs but could someone spare me all these construction detours? I just got the school to start the IEP process. Do I need to comply with the counselors & case managers? If he does go, do I still make the final decisions in his care?