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<blockquote data-quote="KTMom91" data-source="post: 429369" data-attributes="member: 4040"><p>I hate that caught in the middle thing. been there done that. Is your husband objecting to having your difficult child back home, and doing a P/A thing to force him out? Trying to make the kid pay for all the awfulness of the past? Deciding there's no point in supporting such an obviously minor attempt to get a job that difficult child is making? Making sure he shows difficult child exactly what (fill in the blank) feels like when it happens to you?</p><p></p><p>I had to come down pretty hard on Hubby for bringing up stuff that was no longer relevant, and while I understand he was hurt, too, taking it out on Miss KT wasn't the way to heal the family unit. As long as Miss KT was making a serious effort and good choices, I felt we should offer support where it was needed, and that meant rides to/from work, doing family laundry/dishes, etc. As long as everyone was pulling together, I had no problem. Hubby did. Why was I putting HER dishes in the dishwasher? Why was I fixing HER eggs and toast? Just dumb stuff, really, that I compared to being on yard duty, mediating between two second graders, which made Hubby furious. If you're a grown-up, then start acting like one. I spend my days with little kids...I recognize the signs.</p><p></p><p>All I can suggest is sitting down with your husband, and letting him know that the family needs his help to become stronger. difficult child is making an effort, and he needs to put aside his hurt, anger, and resentment long enough to help difficult child become successful. If you're at work, and husband is home, he needs to pick up the slack with kids, chores, whatever.</p><p></p><p>Hugs. I know, it's difficult. Being caught between your husband and child is an awful feeling.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KTMom91, post: 429369, member: 4040"] I hate that caught in the middle thing. been there done that. Is your husband objecting to having your difficult child back home, and doing a P/A thing to force him out? Trying to make the kid pay for all the awfulness of the past? Deciding there's no point in supporting such an obviously minor attempt to get a job that difficult child is making? Making sure he shows difficult child exactly what (fill in the blank) feels like when it happens to you? I had to come down pretty hard on Hubby for bringing up stuff that was no longer relevant, and while I understand he was hurt, too, taking it out on Miss KT wasn't the way to heal the family unit. As long as Miss KT was making a serious effort and good choices, I felt we should offer support where it was needed, and that meant rides to/from work, doing family laundry/dishes, etc. As long as everyone was pulling together, I had no problem. Hubby did. Why was I putting HER dishes in the dishwasher? Why was I fixing HER eggs and toast? Just dumb stuff, really, that I compared to being on yard duty, mediating between two second graders, which made Hubby furious. If you're a grown-up, then start acting like one. I spend my days with little kids...I recognize the signs. All I can suggest is sitting down with your husband, and letting him know that the family needs his help to become stronger. difficult child is making an effort, and he needs to put aside his hurt, anger, and resentment long enough to help difficult child become successful. If you're at work, and husband is home, he needs to pick up the slack with kids, chores, whatever. Hugs. I know, it's difficult. Being caught between your husband and child is an awful feeling. [/QUOTE]
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