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<blockquote data-quote="Pixie Dusted" data-source="post: 747387" data-attributes="member: 23670"><p>Thanks for your reply! Unfortunately we do know how serious Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is. And we fired that therapist right away cuz I agree that she likely did more harm than good. Today was a good day, he came to me for a hug and did what he was told without arguing.</p><p>I WAS SO HAPPY</p><p></p><p>Good or bad we have had many children in the home. We also adopted his younger brother who is 10. We have bio daughter who is also 12 as son is. We have 4 older children that no longer live at home. 27, 25, 23, 21. He was our first foster care placement. In the last 12 years we have had almost 60 children come through our home. Most were infants, none older than 7yo, and mostly short-term. TWe took breaks after a child(ren) left to give us time with our kids at home. But when these "behaviors" started showing with Franky we did have them remove the infant we had at that time and won't take on any foster children while he's struggling.</p><p></p><p>The 21 year old son comes back from the Army at the end of the month. He is the only male of the older 4. But he is also the one that Franky is most attached to. Oldest son is ADHD and was the one who opened our eyes to the beautiful world of mental illness. He carved a good path for the many children that came after him. </p><p></p><p>21 year old calls home a lot and talks to the kids, mostly Franky. He is funny and tells me "just wait until I get home mom, I'll fix him cuz I know where is head is". </p><p></p><p>I think there may be some truth in that...</p><p></p><p>So, many docs, therapists, & education for last 12 years. We've tried many different "parenting" styles and/or programs. I would say most are preventive or distraction. </p><p></p><p>All these children with every kind of mental illness. And here I am with my own son and I feel so blindsided. I feel we missed a chance with him we could have done more "therapy" with him, but we did not see the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) symptoms since he was a toddler so we thought we were good.</p><p></p><p>I find it ironic as well that after all these years im struggling on how to handle his behavior in the moment. But no 2 children are the same and I've never had one that "in the behavior" couldn't be controlled because he cares about NOTHING when he's in that mode. </p><p></p><p>Unfortunately I do understand how treatment facilities are sometimes the only way a child can be helped. Especially in the child protection system! It's beyond broke and ruins children!</p><p></p><p>I am honestly SO grateful to have found this website. We moved kind of far from extended family 9 years ago and so busy with kids I haven't been able to make any friends here. I am kind of crying because it feels good to just get some of this out! I've tried other support sites, but they were very different. </p><p></p><p>From what I see here it feels like you all are not afraid to put it all on the line. Good, bad, raw, and honest. And responses are caring, encouraging, sensitive, sympathetic and understanding. I think that's amazing!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Pixie Dusted, post: 747387, member: 23670"] Thanks for your reply! Unfortunately we do know how serious Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is. And we fired that therapist right away cuz I agree that she likely did more harm than good. Today was a good day, he came to me for a hug and did what he was told without arguing. I WAS SO HAPPY Good or bad we have had many children in the home. We also adopted his younger brother who is 10. We have bio daughter who is also 12 as son is. We have 4 older children that no longer live at home. 27, 25, 23, 21. He was our first foster care placement. In the last 12 years we have had almost 60 children come through our home. Most were infants, none older than 7yo, and mostly short-term. TWe took breaks after a child(ren) left to give us time with our kids at home. But when these "behaviors" started showing with Franky we did have them remove the infant we had at that time and won't take on any foster children while he's struggling. The 21 year old son comes back from the Army at the end of the month. He is the only male of the older 4. But he is also the one that Franky is most attached to. Oldest son is ADHD and was the one who opened our eyes to the beautiful world of mental illness. He carved a good path for the many children that came after him. 21 year old calls home a lot and talks to the kids, mostly Franky. He is funny and tells me "just wait until I get home mom, I'll fix him cuz I know where is head is". I think there may be some truth in that... So, many docs, therapists, & education for last 12 years. We've tried many different "parenting" styles and/or programs. I would say most are preventive or distraction. All these children with every kind of mental illness. And here I am with my own son and I feel so blindsided. I feel we missed a chance with him we could have done more "therapy" with him, but we did not see the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) symptoms since he was a toddler so we thought we were good. I find it ironic as well that after all these years im struggling on how to handle his behavior in the moment. But no 2 children are the same and I've never had one that "in the behavior" couldn't be controlled because he cares about NOTHING when he's in that mode. Unfortunately I do understand how treatment facilities are sometimes the only way a child can be helped. Especially in the child protection system! It's beyond broke and ruins children! I am honestly SO grateful to have found this website. We moved kind of far from extended family 9 years ago and so busy with kids I haven't been able to make any friends here. I am kind of crying because it feels good to just get some of this out! I've tried other support sites, but they were very different. From what I see here it feels like you all are not afraid to put it all on the line. Good, bad, raw, and honest. And responses are caring, encouraging, sensitive, sympathetic and understanding. I think that's amazing! [/QUOTE]
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