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The Watercooler
What do I say to my kids?
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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 681375" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>We had lunch with "Mandy" and "Grandy" as the kids call them. Ferb had to work. They say very little to me, so as I expected, no one said anything alarming. Grandy (father in law) seemed to be in an unusually good mood. </p><p></p><p>I spoke to a family friend who explained that in the small town where they live, it is of the utmost importance to handle funeral arrangements in advance. She said her mother did the same. She also seemed to think that perhaps Grandy was preparing to send Mandy to a nursing home. That he would want to take care of final arrangements before all their assets are seized. </p><p></p><p>Witz, I agree with you that dying should not need to be "that ugly." The difficulty with this particular family is that they have never learned how to live. The living has been ugly. So ugly that the two sons died in an ugly manner in order to escape the living part. </p><p></p><p>It all seems to center around "Grandy" and his enormous sense of pride. He was a big fish in a little pond. He nastily refuses all help. Any sensible person would have placed Mandy somewhere where she could have 24/7 care. She is unable to take care of her own needs and has been like that for over a decade. There is a strange co-dependency going on between them, though. She would have to give up the sauce if she went to a home, and she is not willing to do that. She nurses a coffee cup full of wine all day long. He buys it for her. It is desperately, sickeningly depressing. Their lives are ugly. Grandy's personality is ugly. It's reasonable to expect the deaths will be ugly, too. But the funeral will be amazing!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 681375, member: 11832"] We had lunch with "Mandy" and "Grandy" as the kids call them. Ferb had to work. They say very little to me, so as I expected, no one said anything alarming. Grandy (father in law) seemed to be in an unusually good mood. I spoke to a family friend who explained that in the small town where they live, it is of the utmost importance to handle funeral arrangements in advance. She said her mother did the same. She also seemed to think that perhaps Grandy was preparing to send Mandy to a nursing home. That he would want to take care of final arrangements before all their assets are seized. Witz, I agree with you that dying should not need to be "that ugly." The difficulty with this particular family is that they have never learned how to live. The living has been ugly. So ugly that the two sons died in an ugly manner in order to escape the living part. It all seems to center around "Grandy" and his enormous sense of pride. He was a big fish in a little pond. He nastily refuses all help. Any sensible person would have placed Mandy somewhere where she could have 24/7 care. She is unable to take care of her own needs and has been like that for over a decade. There is a strange co-dependency going on between them, though. She would have to give up the sauce if she went to a home, and she is not willing to do that. She nurses a coffee cup full of wine all day long. He buys it for her. It is desperately, sickeningly depressing. Their lives are ugly. Grandy's personality is ugly. It's reasonable to expect the deaths will be ugly, too. But the funeral will be amazing! [/QUOTE]
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