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<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 159546" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>Ugh - this is a horrible position to be in. </p><p> </p><p>You love her, you feel bad for her....you can't stand being around her and resent her for all the things she ruins. </p><p></p><p>I have been there done that. When difficult child came after me with a hammer, that was my final straw. I know you do not have another house to send her to (like I had the ex) but you do have to start documenting these rages for the possibility in the future. I would video everything you can. There is a chance she will stop raging knowing the video is on - at least then there is peace. </p><p> </p><p>I had holes in carpeting, walls, doors, shower curtains, lamp shades; burns marks in cupboard doors, molding, countertops. It is very discouraging to have your own child ruin the things you work hard for and take pride in. </p><p> </p><p>My only advice is to stop buying her nice things - I would rather take the 'you dont love mes' than waste the money. Seriously, because the 'you dont love mes' are total manipulation anyway. I stopped buying difficult child nice things. I can not tell you how many bedding sets I have invested in to try to make her feel pride and appreciate her bedroom. </p><p> </p><p>Honestly, she still can get me feeling guilty about her not having nice things, but then I just remind myself about how many nice things she destroyed and I puch the guilties down. </p><p> </p><p>I really have no answers. Nothing I recall seemed to work at this age. It just took a ton of time & her living somewhere else for things to change. </p><p> </p><p>HUGS!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 159546, member: 391"] Ugh - this is a horrible position to be in. You love her, you feel bad for her....you can't stand being around her and resent her for all the things she ruins. I have been there done that. When difficult child came after me with a hammer, that was my final straw. I know you do not have another house to send her to (like I had the ex) but you do have to start documenting these rages for the possibility in the future. I would video everything you can. There is a chance she will stop raging knowing the video is on - at least then there is peace. I had holes in carpeting, walls, doors, shower curtains, lamp shades; burns marks in cupboard doors, molding, countertops. It is very discouraging to have your own child ruin the things you work hard for and take pride in. My only advice is to stop buying her nice things - I would rather take the 'you dont love mes' than waste the money. Seriously, because the 'you dont love mes' are total manipulation anyway. I stopped buying difficult child nice things. I can not tell you how many bedding sets I have invested in to try to make her feel pride and appreciate her bedroom. Honestly, she still can get me feeling guilty about her not having nice things, but then I just remind myself about how many nice things she destroyed and I puch the guilties down. I really have no answers. Nothing I recall seemed to work at this age. It just took a ton of time & her living somewhere else for things to change. HUGS!!!! [/QUOTE]
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