Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What do you do when nobody will help you...nobody?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 248834" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>Ours started the really outrageous stuff at 8 and a half. Seven is so young, it's scary. If he's learned that he can manipulate people by making them feel sorry for him, it's a horrible thing to cope with. </p><p> </p><p>Our son learned it by accident. A lunch lady patted him on the head. He's a drama queen and apparently wanted attention, so he screamed, 'Ouch'. He also has attachment disorder and doesn't like to be touched.</p><p> </p><p>The lunch lady recoiled: what had she done? Suddenly he had power. He said it hurt his head. "Why", because I have a bump there. "Why?" Because my dad hits me.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly there was a lot of excitement, he was pulled into the nurses office, examined, the cops were called, the principal, everyone talked to him in sympathetic, encouraging reassuring voices, CPS came out. Didn't find a bump. He admitted he made it up. They all lost interest. He lost power.</p><p> </p><p>A month later an interesting thing happened: CPS came to the house for a follow up visit. He told them right in front of me and everyone else in the family that I was the one who put the bump on his head. CPS was really skeptical, this was the third story, no bump, clearly a lie. THe CPS officer was coincidentally the same one who investigated him at age three when he was with his psycho mother. </p><p> </p><p>He admitted that he wanted to get us arrested so my oldest son, then 14, would take care of him. Oldest son was more fun. </p><p> </p><p>Since then, difficult child has been tireless in telling people how abused he is. It's gotten him money, friends, invitations to Disney World, once got him kidnapped (the story is on this site somewhere), got him put in afterschool care and his sister thrown out, once got him out of being arrested, gets authority figures to bend the rules for him, and gets him endless attention, sympathy and respect.</p><p> </p><p>It's worth his while to put the effort into behaving outside the house and venting his rage inside the family. And it's been hell for us.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry your friend's little boy seems to have learned this how rewarding this behavior is. He's been able to fool every teacher and school administrator, and many (not all of his therapists). The one therapist who was least fooled was a mother of five, most of the kids adopted or stepkids, one of them grown up to be a sociopath. She had his number. But we could only see her for 3 months, she only did initial referrals.</p><p> </p><p>I want you to know that there are other kids out there like this. THey learn the lingo and how to manipulate therapists. I don't think your friend is in any way responsible. I think a lot of times, not all, but a lot of times, this is what the childhood of a sociopath looks like. </p><p> </p><p>Part of the problem is even when they are repeat felons like our difficult child there is no place to put them, no one knows what to do. They don't want to do medications, because of the growing brain and liability. Talk therapy doesn't work when kids don't have a certain level of emotional intelligence and vocabulary. They can't take them out of the home because where to put them? Foster care? It's over burdened and besides not a babysitting service? It's for kids who are effectively orphaned by imprisoned or addicted or mentally ill or abusive parents. Mental health facilities? They can't spend 11 years there. Programs and special schools? The few spaces and scarce funds are better spent on kids who are a social problem, not ones who know how to behave themselves.</p><p> </p><p>And there's always the liability problem with any kind of residential care or treatment, how are they going to keep this little one safe from the bigger, more sick, aggressive or predatory kids? </p><p> </p><p>There's almost nothing for kids under twelve, and then still not much, at least in our state until about 14. But then again, the spaces are reserved for kids who act out overtly. The ones where the problem is obvious.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 248834, member: 5169"] Ours started the really outrageous stuff at 8 and a half. Seven is so young, it's scary. If he's learned that he can manipulate people by making them feel sorry for him, it's a horrible thing to cope with. Our son learned it by accident. A lunch lady patted him on the head. He's a drama queen and apparently wanted attention, so he screamed, 'Ouch'. He also has attachment disorder and doesn't like to be touched. The lunch lady recoiled: what had she done? Suddenly he had power. He said it hurt his head. "Why", because I have a bump there. "Why?" Because my dad hits me. Suddenly there was a lot of excitement, he was pulled into the nurses office, examined, the cops were called, the principal, everyone talked to him in sympathetic, encouraging reassuring voices, CPS came out. Didn't find a bump. He admitted he made it up. They all lost interest. He lost power. A month later an interesting thing happened: CPS came to the house for a follow up visit. He told them right in front of me and everyone else in the family that I was the one who put the bump on his head. CPS was really skeptical, this was the third story, no bump, clearly a lie. THe CPS officer was coincidentally the same one who investigated him at age three when he was with his psycho mother. He admitted that he wanted to get us arrested so my oldest son, then 14, would take care of him. Oldest son was more fun. Since then, difficult child has been tireless in telling people how abused he is. It's gotten him money, friends, invitations to Disney World, once got him kidnapped (the story is on this site somewhere), got him put in afterschool care and his sister thrown out, once got him out of being arrested, gets authority figures to bend the rules for him, and gets him endless attention, sympathy and respect. It's worth his while to put the effort into behaving outside the house and venting his rage inside the family. And it's been hell for us. I'm sorry your friend's little boy seems to have learned this how rewarding this behavior is. He's been able to fool every teacher and school administrator, and many (not all of his therapists). The one therapist who was least fooled was a mother of five, most of the kids adopted or stepkids, one of them grown up to be a sociopath. She had his number. But we could only see her for 3 months, she only did initial referrals. I want you to know that there are other kids out there like this. THey learn the lingo and how to manipulate therapists. I don't think your friend is in any way responsible. I think a lot of times, not all, but a lot of times, this is what the childhood of a sociopath looks like. Part of the problem is even when they are repeat felons like our difficult child there is no place to put them, no one knows what to do. They don't want to do medications, because of the growing brain and liability. Talk therapy doesn't work when kids don't have a certain level of emotional intelligence and vocabulary. They can't take them out of the home because where to put them? Foster care? It's over burdened and besides not a babysitting service? It's for kids who are effectively orphaned by imprisoned or addicted or mentally ill or abusive parents. Mental health facilities? They can't spend 11 years there. Programs and special schools? The few spaces and scarce funds are better spent on kids who are a social problem, not ones who know how to behave themselves. And there's always the liability problem with any kind of residential care or treatment, how are they going to keep this little one safe from the bigger, more sick, aggressive or predatory kids? There's almost nothing for kids under twelve, and then still not much, at least in our state until about 14. But then again, the spaces are reserved for kids who act out overtly. The ones where the problem is obvious. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What do you do when nobody will help you...nobody?
Top