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General Parenting
What do you do when you dont like your child
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 505519" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>I have never experienced this to the extent that you describe. I have had moments of self pity and hating the things my difficult child has done. Your daughter is not well. Much of her behavior is related to her mental illnesses. Resenting this is not going to help your other relationships. I am so so sorry your family is not understanding and supportive. You will first have to understand her issues well enough to develop empathy so that you can try to educate your family. You are isolated and this has got to be hard. Manu of us have had friends and neighborhoods disappeare when our difficult children do what they do. I'm glad you reach out here. This was not easy to share I am sure. </p><p></p><p>Is she being treated? Medications? How is school for her? Are you getting support from a MH professional so you can parent her? What respite do you get to care for yourself? Have you ever been to NAMI meetings. I highly recommend this. I learned so much there and met many supportive people.</p><p></p><p>Children do not act out to make us miserable. It may feel like it, but they don't. Her mind does not function as it should and if she is BiPolar (BP), she has so many challenges with her brain. At school when I feel frustrated by kids that are not my own, I tell myself that they are important, they are loved and that their behavior is not directed at me. It is also my cue that I need to find positive moments for them. I also believe your daughter doesn't want to be how she is. Behavior is communication in all of us. What might her behaviors be saying that you could address? Can you focus on any good that she does? When I focus on positives, these behaviors increase. I am reinforcing what she is able to do. Can you sit in a quiet moment and talk about things, problem solve? She above all needs your attention. She is feeling what you are feeling-and some of her behvior may be an unconscience way to get you to pay attention-any attention is better than none.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you shared-please try to see she too is in pain and she needs you. Perhaps this will decreas some of the negative behaviors that contribute to your feelings for her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 505519, member: 11001"] I have never experienced this to the extent that you describe. I have had moments of self pity and hating the things my difficult child has done. Your daughter is not well. Much of her behavior is related to her mental illnesses. Resenting this is not going to help your other relationships. I am so so sorry your family is not understanding and supportive. You will first have to understand her issues well enough to develop empathy so that you can try to educate your family. You are isolated and this has got to be hard. Manu of us have had friends and neighborhoods disappeare when our difficult children do what they do. I'm glad you reach out here. This was not easy to share I am sure. Is she being treated? Medications? How is school for her? Are you getting support from a MH professional so you can parent her? What respite do you get to care for yourself? Have you ever been to NAMI meetings. I highly recommend this. I learned so much there and met many supportive people. Children do not act out to make us miserable. It may feel like it, but they don't. Her mind does not function as it should and if she is BiPolar (BP), she has so many challenges with her brain. At school when I feel frustrated by kids that are not my own, I tell myself that they are important, they are loved and that their behavior is not directed at me. It is also my cue that I need to find positive moments for them. I also believe your daughter doesn't want to be how she is. Behavior is communication in all of us. What might her behaviors be saying that you could address? Can you focus on any good that she does? When I focus on positives, these behaviors increase. I am reinforcing what she is able to do. Can you sit in a quiet moment and talk about things, problem solve? She above all needs your attention. She is feeling what you are feeling-and some of her behvior may be an unconscience way to get you to pay attention-any attention is better than none. I'm glad you shared-please try to see she too is in pain and she needs you. Perhaps this will decreas some of the negative behaviors that contribute to your feelings for her. [/QUOTE]
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What do you do when you dont like your child
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