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What do you do when you dont like your child
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<blockquote data-quote="ringelberg" data-source="post: 505736" data-attributes="member: 11497"><p>Over the past year, I have felt like that many times. I know that I love him, but there have been times that I do not like him. There have been many many times that I have thought to myself "I have to do this because I am all he has." I am not extremely religious, but I believe that God gave me Austin for a reason. I don't have any miracle answer, but a suggestion of a couple of things that help me cope.</p><p></p><p>First, get a break. Luckily, between my husband and other son-17, and of course school, I do get some free time, not much, but some. Maybe there is someone that your difficult child's therapist could suggest, someone at church, you could ask the guidance counselor at school if she knows someone.... brainstorm, but find someone. </p><p></p><p>Second, get some support for you. Seeing a therapist for you is a great idea! Also, Not sure if you go to church, but if so, maybe a small group. One where you could get to know the people and confide in them your struggles. I have found both of these to be a great help when I thought I would go crazy.</p><p></p><p>Third, not sure if this will help, but it helped me have a change of attitude. Read and learn as much about your daughter's condition. After reading a few books and a bunch of websites, I have a renewed prospective on the situation. I have been viewing my difficult child's problems as if he could choose to behave differently. This was extremely frustrating and made me angry at him for deliberately making life difficult. His brain is different and I now see him in a different light. It isn't his choice and it isn't my parenting, it is a disability. I'm not saying that I don't get angry, but it is easier to detach when it is illogical to blame him (or myself). </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Take care of yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ringelberg, post: 505736, member: 11497"] Over the past year, I have felt like that many times. I know that I love him, but there have been times that I do not like him. There have been many many times that I have thought to myself "I have to do this because I am all he has." I am not extremely religious, but I believe that God gave me Austin for a reason. I don't have any miracle answer, but a suggestion of a couple of things that help me cope. First, get a break. Luckily, between my husband and other son-17, and of course school, I do get some free time, not much, but some. Maybe there is someone that your difficult child's therapist could suggest, someone at church, you could ask the guidance counselor at school if she knows someone.... brainstorm, but find someone. Second, get some support for you. Seeing a therapist for you is a great idea! Also, Not sure if you go to church, but if so, maybe a small group. One where you could get to know the people and confide in them your struggles. I have found both of these to be a great help when I thought I would go crazy. Third, not sure if this will help, but it helped me have a change of attitude. Read and learn as much about your daughter's condition. After reading a few books and a bunch of websites, I have a renewed prospective on the situation. I have been viewing my difficult child's problems as if he could choose to behave differently. This was extremely frustrating and made me angry at him for deliberately making life difficult. His brain is different and I now see him in a different light. It isn't his choice and it isn't my parenting, it is a disability. I'm not saying that I don't get angry, but it is easier to detach when it is illogical to blame him (or myself). Hang in there. Take care of yourself. [/QUOTE]
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