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What do you do when you put adult son in rehab with their bills?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 728558" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Rather than worry about the bills before he is even thinking about rehab, why not start going to Alanon yourself? Addiction is a disease that makes the entire family sick. The whole family ends up needing treatment, not just the alcoholic. One of the absolute best things you can do for your son is to start dealing with your codependence as soon as possible. That is the name for the part of the sickness that the family gets, codependence. It means you take on a lot more responsibility for his life than you really need to, and you have to learn to give that back to him, to let him be independent again. </p><p></p><p>You can read Codependent No More, which is a truly wonderful book. Seeing a therapist who is experienced in addiction and codependence is a good thing. Just make sure you are comfortable. It can take a few tries to find the right therapist, so don't feel bad if after a couple or three sessions you decide to find a different therapist because one said something absolutely stupid to you. You might double check that what they said was ridiculous, that it isn't your codependence talking, but it can take a few tries to find the right therapist. </p><p></p><p>Alanon is also a wonderful resource. Meetings are held at different times and places in most communities. You should try several different meetings so you find one that you are comfortable with. Each meeting has a different dynamic. It is a resource that will help you as you help your son. In fact, if you go to Alanon, it will increase the chances that your son will eventually reach long term sobriety by a great deal. </p><p></p><p>All of these things will be helpful so that you will be able to respond in a healthy way when the time comes that your son actually has to deal with his girlfriend leaving and any other crisis in his life. You will also have other people you can bounce ideas off of to see what is reasonable and what isn't. Of course we will be here and will always help, but having more resources is never a bad thing!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 728558, member: 1233"] Rather than worry about the bills before he is even thinking about rehab, why not start going to Alanon yourself? Addiction is a disease that makes the entire family sick. The whole family ends up needing treatment, not just the alcoholic. One of the absolute best things you can do for your son is to start dealing with your codependence as soon as possible. That is the name for the part of the sickness that the family gets, codependence. It means you take on a lot more responsibility for his life than you really need to, and you have to learn to give that back to him, to let him be independent again. You can read Codependent No More, which is a truly wonderful book. Seeing a therapist who is experienced in addiction and codependence is a good thing. Just make sure you are comfortable. It can take a few tries to find the right therapist, so don't feel bad if after a couple or three sessions you decide to find a different therapist because one said something absolutely stupid to you. You might double check that what they said was ridiculous, that it isn't your codependence talking, but it can take a few tries to find the right therapist. Alanon is also a wonderful resource. Meetings are held at different times and places in most communities. You should try several different meetings so you find one that you are comfortable with. Each meeting has a different dynamic. It is a resource that will help you as you help your son. In fact, if you go to Alanon, it will increase the chances that your son will eventually reach long term sobriety by a great deal. All of these things will be helpful so that you will be able to respond in a healthy way when the time comes that your son actually has to deal with his girlfriend leaving and any other crisis in his life. You will also have other people you can bounce ideas off of to see what is reasonable and what isn't. Of course we will be here and will always help, but having more resources is never a bad thing! [/QUOTE]
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What do you do when you put adult son in rehab with their bills?
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