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General Parenting
What do you tell your easy child's?
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 574144" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>This may not be relevant, but are you at all concerned that if husband thinks this is all about difficult child, he will take it out on him? </p><p>It may not be the time to discuss your issues with him now, but if say, husband decides to place difficult child somewhere, will he expect you to come back? Would you want to then? </p><p>As far as easy child I agree that it's best not to reinforce the bad guy idea, more the sick, needs help idea. My nieces on their own would tell their friends that Q's brain was broken and he was getting help to fix it. As they've gotten older they understand it won't be fixed but that he changes and learns how to do better. Your difficult child may never be safe for easy child to be around as a child but they may be able to have a limited brother relationship as adults. They may not too....but at least by your being thoughtful at this point you leave the door open just in case.</p><p></p><p>If husband gets visitation I admit I'd be tempted to move to make that difficult if he couldn't afford to fly him home etc...but I suppose the important thing will be helping easy child learn to play next to husband, to tell no matter what difficult child says etc. I can't even imagine how you'd do that. Maybe if it's ordered, you could offer to meet at a park or other family outing just so you can watch. I have no clue if thats realistic and pray your evidence and reports will be enough to ensure an order that keeps easy child safe. I wish the system would do the right thing but I don't have a lot of faith. He has you advocating for him though and I know you'll do all you can!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 574144, member: 12886"] This may not be relevant, but are you at all concerned that if husband thinks this is all about difficult child, he will take it out on him? It may not be the time to discuss your issues with him now, but if say, husband decides to place difficult child somewhere, will he expect you to come back? Would you want to then? As far as easy child I agree that it's best not to reinforce the bad guy idea, more the sick, needs help idea. My nieces on their own would tell their friends that Q's brain was broken and he was getting help to fix it. As they've gotten older they understand it won't be fixed but that he changes and learns how to do better. Your difficult child may never be safe for easy child to be around as a child but they may be able to have a limited brother relationship as adults. They may not too....but at least by your being thoughtful at this point you leave the door open just in case. If husband gets visitation I admit I'd be tempted to move to make that difficult if he couldn't afford to fly him home etc...but I suppose the important thing will be helping easy child learn to play next to husband, to tell no matter what difficult child says etc. I can't even imagine how you'd do that. Maybe if it's ordered, you could offer to meet at a park or other family outing just so you can watch. I have no clue if thats realistic and pray your evidence and reports will be enough to ensure an order that keeps easy child safe. I wish the system would do the right thing but I don't have a lot of faith. He has you advocating for him though and I know you'll do all you can! [/QUOTE]
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What do you tell your easy child's?
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